It has been a long time since I felt inept at doing household chores. But, I certainly had a reality check today!
I had the day off from work. Yesterday was a very long day and this weekend will be taxing as well with a large babyshower on Sunday. So, I decided that work could wait til Monday and I would rest.
I slept 30 minutes past my normal wake up time. I slowly got ready for the day. I enjoyed every minute of my laziness and gave some thought to what, if anything, had to be done today. I finally decided that I would wash all of the baby clothes, read a book and work on Thank You cards from the last shower.
For those of you that don't have children and haven't washed baby clothes in a while, I found out it can be an adventure. It only took 2 calls to my mentor, Sam, to decide the best way to accomplish this task! My first call was an inquiry about the clothes themselves. Did I need to unbutton or unsnap all of the little shirts, sleepers, etc? (FYI: Sam said no, only if I want them to make a really large amount of noise while they are in the dryer.) Okay, first crisis averted. What can I say, I just didn't know.
So, I started taking tags off of everything and getting ready for my first load. I thought adult clothing had a lot of tags. It is nothing compared to baby clothing. They pin everthing together with those plastic things to keep them on the hanger. I think it took me an hour to get it all separated!!!
I started the first of two loads with Dreft and went to rest for a while. A word about Dreft: It smells and looks just like Woolite! I know you are supposed to use it exclusively for baby clothes, but I think it is just a conspiracy to get you to buy a more expensive product than Woolite!
Anyway, the first load heads to the dryer and I put in the second load. Again, I head for my chair to rest as I am supposed to be doing today.
Second crisis: The first load comes out of the dryer and I try to decide how to fold these miniscule items! We're talking socks that won't fit my thumb and sleepers that measure 10-12 inches in total length!! This stuff is really small and I am trying hard not to panic like my friend, Katie. (Katie panicked when she realized that she was going to have something small enough to fit into something that small. Now, I can totally understand her panic!) Again, I call Sam and she says just wing it because there is no really good way to do this. So, I fold all of the tiny clothes in the first load into neat little stacks and am very proud of myself!
Are you ready....I pick up the first stack to put it away and the thing explodes out of my hand like a greased stack of playing cards! Clothes went flying every here! I had a sleeper hanging off of my shoulder. The dog has newly clean socks on his back. He pops up like he has been shot and all the clothes around him fly further in the room. The kitchen counter and floor looks like a baby clothes bomb went off! Ugh, all my hardwork down the drain! So, I pick it all up and fold it again trying to figure out where I went wrong.
Here is what I learned: Don't fold the clothes into really small stacks. The more folds you have in each item, the more unstable the stack! The trick is to only use 1-2 folds! Well, someone could have told me that!!!
Like I said, it has been a long time since I felt inept at doing laundry. But I think 2 phone calls, an exploding stack of clothing and refolding qualifies as inept. The learning curve just doesn't seem to be working smoothly here. This baby is sure in for a ride when it comes out!
I created this blog so that I could post pictures and a journal from China. Since we have returned from that life changing trip, I decided to continue the blog so everyone can follow along with my pregnancy, the birth of my son and his growth. This is my journal for him.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Imagine That....
Imagine that: I feel terrible. Seems to be the nature of the beast during this pregnancy. I didn't think I could feel much worse, but it was possible after all.
Tuesday night I started having a low grade fever. I woke up Wednesday morning dripping wet with no clothes on and the covers on the other side of the bed. All day yesterday, I felt lousy. You know the drill, you feel like a limp noodle with absolutely no energy. Thank goodness, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with the OB/GYN.
So, I headed to the doctor thinking that I was getting a flu bug. He informs me that I am fine just getting ready to have a baby! How can this process get any worse?!!?! That's right some women experience flu-like symptoms before they deliver. Apparently, having morning sickness the entire time has not been enough, now I get to experience this. Why do I have to be in the some catagory?!?
To make matters worse, Sam does have the flu. I can't help her in any way with Kieren or Cullen because I can't take the chance of actually getting the flu! We thought we had the same fever problem yesterday, but hers has turned out to be much worse. So, now I feel guilty complaining about how bad I feel, because she is much worse. We are both a pair of whiners this week!!
On top of feeling lousy, I had to attend a Lioness dinner meeting last night. I had to go because I am the president and 2 of our major fund raising projects had to be discussed. As you can imagine, I was pretty cranky by the end of the meeting. The dinner portion does nothing for me as I am still suffering through morning sickness better known as all day long sickness. And, keeping 8-10 women on track to discuss the agenda is not exactly easy. But, I got through it and collapsed when I came home at 9:00 PM.
I should also mention that on top of all that, I lost 2 lbs according to the doctor's scale. That brings my total weight gain from my first doctor's appointment until yesterday is 7.8lbs. Which means that from the time I stepped on the scale after taking the pregancy test until now, I have lost 29lbs! (Sarcasm takes over completely: This is a great weight loss plan I've got going, isn't it?) The doctor is not thrilled, but has given up giving me grief on this issue. All he tells me now is to try to eat things with higher calories. Like I told my friend, Katie, you just gotta love a doctor's prescription for eating milkshakes every day! Thank God for United Dairy Farmers and chocolate! (Yes, sometimes these revolt out of my stomach, but they sure taste good going down. And, when they do come up, it is just an excuse to have something else to eat!)
The good part in all of this is that the baby is doing great and is still measuring a week early. So, maybe this portion of my suffering will be over that much sooner!
Tuesday night I started having a low grade fever. I woke up Wednesday morning dripping wet with no clothes on and the covers on the other side of the bed. All day yesterday, I felt lousy. You know the drill, you feel like a limp noodle with absolutely no energy. Thank goodness, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with the OB/GYN.
So, I headed to the doctor thinking that I was getting a flu bug. He informs me that I am fine just getting ready to have a baby! How can this process get any worse?!!?! That's right some women experience flu-like symptoms before they deliver. Apparently, having morning sickness the entire time has not been enough, now I get to experience this. Why do I have to be in the some catagory?!?
To make matters worse, Sam does have the flu. I can't help her in any way with Kieren or Cullen because I can't take the chance of actually getting the flu! We thought we had the same fever problem yesterday, but hers has turned out to be much worse. So, now I feel guilty complaining about how bad I feel, because she is much worse. We are both a pair of whiners this week!!
On top of feeling lousy, I had to attend a Lioness dinner meeting last night. I had to go because I am the president and 2 of our major fund raising projects had to be discussed. As you can imagine, I was pretty cranky by the end of the meeting. The dinner portion does nothing for me as I am still suffering through morning sickness better known as all day long sickness. And, keeping 8-10 women on track to discuss the agenda is not exactly easy. But, I got through it and collapsed when I came home at 9:00 PM.
I should also mention that on top of all that, I lost 2 lbs according to the doctor's scale. That brings my total weight gain from my first doctor's appointment until yesterday is 7.8lbs. Which means that from the time I stepped on the scale after taking the pregancy test until now, I have lost 29lbs! (Sarcasm takes over completely: This is a great weight loss plan I've got going, isn't it?) The doctor is not thrilled, but has given up giving me grief on this issue. All he tells me now is to try to eat things with higher calories. Like I told my friend, Katie, you just gotta love a doctor's prescription for eating milkshakes every day! Thank God for United Dairy Farmers and chocolate! (Yes, sometimes these revolt out of my stomach, but they sure taste good going down. And, when they do come up, it is just an excuse to have something else to eat!)
The good part in all of this is that the baby is doing great and is still measuring a week early. So, maybe this portion of my suffering will be over that much sooner!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Childbirth Class
Where to start, where to start....
Mark and I passed our Childbirth class. I'm not sure how much of an accomplishment that really is. My question is: What if you don't pass? Does that mean you don't get to have the baby? I've got news for these people, this baby is coming out whether or not I pass some breathing and counting class!! I'd like to see anyone try to tell me differently!
Anyway, it really wasn't so bad. It just wasn't what I had in mind for my birthday on Saturday! I did learn a few things though. For instance, my husband can count to ten in at least 5 languages. I have been married to this man for almost 12 years and never knew this bit of trivia about him. Quite fascinating!! The bad part about this is, he had me cracking up while I was supposed to be concentrating on breathing. So, we had to make a pact that he would not count, he would just squeeze my hand.
For those of you who don't know Mark, he is a very funny person when you get to know him. Until he knows you well, you will think that he never talks and avoids people at all cost. This is simply not true. He just studies you until he finds your weak point and then starts making jokes until you pee your pants! Just ask my friend Kelley. She knew him for almost 2 years before he said more than 2 words to her. She was convinced that he hated her and would never speak to her. Well, one day she came into our house, told him a dirty joke and that was all it took. She and Mark told jokes to each other for 2 staight hours. Both of them laughed almost uncontrollably and caused the rest of us to practically pee ourselves.
So, the worst place you can take Mark is to a place where you are the only person he knows. You are in for it the entire time you are there!! He made comments to me for 2 straight days about his observations of the people in the class and the information being disciminated. We watched 8 videos which showed the birthing process in graphic detail. You can just imagine the comments he managed to make about that!!
Perhaps his funniest moment was right in the middle of the relaxation technique lecture. The instructor had us move from our chairs to the floor with beanbags. Well, Mark decided that these beanbags would make great molds for his birdbath project. Let me explain: The day we went to the Dr. for the 20 week ultrasound, I was reading a magazine which talked about making a cast/mold of your pregnant belly. I think that is about the oddest thing a person could do. What would you do with such a thing? Why would you want to be reminded of the stretch marks, etc.? Well, Mark thought it was a great idea because.... it could be cast in concrete and used as an olympic size birdbath! Needless to say, all the other husbands in the doctor's waiting room found the humor in this idea. Meanwhile, all the wives were either glaring or elbowing their spouse in the ribs! Mark went on to explain that we could skip the middle step and I could just lay belly down in the wet concrete to make this lovely birdbath. That just brought more laughter from the men and harder jabs from the women. He developed this idea to the point of marketing and profit margin while waiting to see the doc that day! The man has no shame!
So, when presented with the beanbag chairs and 20 pregnant women at class, it was just too much for him. Afterall, you have a 'huge' model supply and beanbags hold their shape for the molds! I had to leave the class to pee and the instructor glared at us for disrupting her relaxation lecture!
What else did we learn:
1) It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. There was one particularly annoying woman sitting on the other side of the room. You know the type, they can't be bothered with the trivial things that the rest of the world has to go through. They are better than that! By Sunday afternoon, she was the focus of Mark's comments. I'm just glad he was distracted and dropped the beanbag mold idea!
2) I am a wimp when it comes to needles. Yes, I knew that already, it was just reconfirmed this weekend! The video of the epidural procedure did nothing to convince me that I wanted anything to do with that crap! I am barely talking myself into the IV, let alone someone putting a needle into my back!!! One of the other girls in the class was all for the epidural until she saw them do one and then it was a whole different ball of wax!
3) They need new videos! Most of the births seemed to have been filmed in the 1980's. Can you say BIG HAIR!! One woman's hair was so large, Mark and I were looking for a bird's nest in it. She would never have known if there was one because it was so large! At one point, they had a picture of her in front of a Christmas wreath, but all you could see were the ornaments growing out of her hair!
4) Babies do a lot of turning during the birth process just to get out. It is amazing that our bodies were programmed by God to know how to do this. But, it sounds painful. I think that God should have thought about this a little longer to avoid so many turns, but hey, that's just me. I'll let you know if I can tell when it happens. I hope not!!
5) And finally, I am old. We were the oldest couple in the class by several years. There was one other couple in their early thirties, but the rest were in their early 20's and still talking about their honeymoons! I know we had one of those. It was just so long ago and I am getting so old, I don't remember too much about it! God definitely has a sense of humor, letting me get pregnant at this stage of my life. I can only wonder and fear what will be next. I think I need to study those sacrifices to the Gods again to make sure that I get it right from here on. I don't need this type of humor/punishment!
Mark and I passed our Childbirth class. I'm not sure how much of an accomplishment that really is. My question is: What if you don't pass? Does that mean you don't get to have the baby? I've got news for these people, this baby is coming out whether or not I pass some breathing and counting class!! I'd like to see anyone try to tell me differently!
Anyway, it really wasn't so bad. It just wasn't what I had in mind for my birthday on Saturday! I did learn a few things though. For instance, my husband can count to ten in at least 5 languages. I have been married to this man for almost 12 years and never knew this bit of trivia about him. Quite fascinating!! The bad part about this is, he had me cracking up while I was supposed to be concentrating on breathing. So, we had to make a pact that he would not count, he would just squeeze my hand.
For those of you who don't know Mark, he is a very funny person when you get to know him. Until he knows you well, you will think that he never talks and avoids people at all cost. This is simply not true. He just studies you until he finds your weak point and then starts making jokes until you pee your pants! Just ask my friend Kelley. She knew him for almost 2 years before he said more than 2 words to her. She was convinced that he hated her and would never speak to her. Well, one day she came into our house, told him a dirty joke and that was all it took. She and Mark told jokes to each other for 2 staight hours. Both of them laughed almost uncontrollably and caused the rest of us to practically pee ourselves.
So, the worst place you can take Mark is to a place where you are the only person he knows. You are in for it the entire time you are there!! He made comments to me for 2 straight days about his observations of the people in the class and the information being disciminated. We watched 8 videos which showed the birthing process in graphic detail. You can just imagine the comments he managed to make about that!!
Perhaps his funniest moment was right in the middle of the relaxation technique lecture. The instructor had us move from our chairs to the floor with beanbags. Well, Mark decided that these beanbags would make great molds for his birdbath project. Let me explain: The day we went to the Dr. for the 20 week ultrasound, I was reading a magazine which talked about making a cast/mold of your pregnant belly. I think that is about the oddest thing a person could do. What would you do with such a thing? Why would you want to be reminded of the stretch marks, etc.? Well, Mark thought it was a great idea because.... it could be cast in concrete and used as an olympic size birdbath! Needless to say, all the other husbands in the doctor's waiting room found the humor in this idea. Meanwhile, all the wives were either glaring or elbowing their spouse in the ribs! Mark went on to explain that we could skip the middle step and I could just lay belly down in the wet concrete to make this lovely birdbath. That just brought more laughter from the men and harder jabs from the women. He developed this idea to the point of marketing and profit margin while waiting to see the doc that day! The man has no shame!
So, when presented with the beanbag chairs and 20 pregnant women at class, it was just too much for him. Afterall, you have a 'huge' model supply and beanbags hold their shape for the molds! I had to leave the class to pee and the instructor glared at us for disrupting her relaxation lecture!
What else did we learn:
1) It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. There was one particularly annoying woman sitting on the other side of the room. You know the type, they can't be bothered with the trivial things that the rest of the world has to go through. They are better than that! By Sunday afternoon, she was the focus of Mark's comments. I'm just glad he was distracted and dropped the beanbag mold idea!
2) I am a wimp when it comes to needles. Yes, I knew that already, it was just reconfirmed this weekend! The video of the epidural procedure did nothing to convince me that I wanted anything to do with that crap! I am barely talking myself into the IV, let alone someone putting a needle into my back!!! One of the other girls in the class was all for the epidural until she saw them do one and then it was a whole different ball of wax!
3) They need new videos! Most of the births seemed to have been filmed in the 1980's. Can you say BIG HAIR!! One woman's hair was so large, Mark and I were looking for a bird's nest in it. She would never have known if there was one because it was so large! At one point, they had a picture of her in front of a Christmas wreath, but all you could see were the ornaments growing out of her hair!
4) Babies do a lot of turning during the birth process just to get out. It is amazing that our bodies were programmed by God to know how to do this. But, it sounds painful. I think that God should have thought about this a little longer to avoid so many turns, but hey, that's just me. I'll let you know if I can tell when it happens. I hope not!!
5) And finally, I am old. We were the oldest couple in the class by several years. There was one other couple in their early thirties, but the rest were in their early 20's and still talking about their honeymoons! I know we had one of those. It was just so long ago and I am getting so old, I don't remember too much about it! God definitely has a sense of humor, letting me get pregnant at this stage of my life. I can only wonder and fear what will be next. I think I need to study those sacrifices to the Gods again to make sure that I get it right from here on. I don't need this type of humor/punishment!
Friday, April 21, 2006
My Problem with Instant Gratification
I learned yesterday that I am an instant gratification person. Okay, so I already suspected I was but, who wants to admit something like that willingly? Two things this past week made me realize this glitch in my personality. But, for the record, I was able to control my impulses in both situations. (Yes, Sam it took great control on my part! Impressive isn't it!)
1) Let's start with Easter weekend:
It took all that I had to not tell Mark that our friends, the Dorseys, were coming to surprise him for Easter weekend. I told you: instant gratification is a problem for me. I wanted to tell him so badly, but was able to stand up to the challenge. How was I able to do this, you ask? Well, Mark's complaining Saturday helped bunch!!! Let me explain:
Earlier last week, I talked to Mark's buddy, Brian, about Easter. At that time, Brian, his wife Cathy and their two daughters were in the RV and headed to Tennessee for Spring Break. On their way home, Brian and I arranged for them to stop by our house for Easter weekend.
So Saturday rolls around and I have spent most of the week cleaning house, etc just like I would for any holiday dinner. So, there was nothing suspicious for Mark to grab onto about our Easter plans. (Our holiday dinners usually start with just a few people and end up being 15-20. I wouldn't know what to do if I had to just cook for a few and not plan for the usual crowd!)
Anyway, Saturday was a beautiful day! We're talking 70-75 degrees, sunshine, and no humidity. Mark got up with an agenda of his own that day and it did not include any of my agenda items in the slightest. He was going to play golf and that was it as far as he was concerned.
Well, I didn't know when the Dorseys would arrive, so I couldn't let him disappear. I managed to keep him busy the entire day with household projects while listening to him complain about going golfing. I think I would have caved in if I hadn't been so annoyed with his moaning and groaning about golf! He complained about every task I came up with. He complained about what we were going to do for dinner, which is something he never does. I am serious, he complained with every other breath in his body! Anyway, thank God, our guests arrived a little before 6:00 and all was forgiven, mostly. (Four days later, he is still complaining that he didn't play golf this past weekend. Maybe my next instant gratification moment will include beating him before he goes back to work on Monday!)
We had a wonderful weekend. We relaxed. We went to the Air Force Museum. We picked on my Mom on Easter sunday. (Which in my book is always a good sport.) Brian got really good blackmail info about Mark from my sister-in-law. The girls played with our nephew, Alex. Life is/was good. We were sorry to see them leave Tuesday morning. Hopefully, they will be back this summer so we can go to some of our local amusement parks, etc.
2) My second episode this week of instant gratification: the car.
As if we didn't have enough things to do this month (2 baby showers, birthing class, Easter, finishing Sprout's room) , the lease on my car expires on April 28th! So yesterday, Mark and I met for lunch and decided to take a look at the dealership to see if there was anything I liked.
Here is the instant gratification flaw again: I didn't like any of the exterior or interior colors of any of the cars on the lot! But, I didn't want to deal with this any longer, so I was willing to settle for a silver car just to get the painful process of car shopping out of the way. Thank goodness Mark knows me so well, and refused to allow me to do that. He made the salesman find the car that I wanted. But again the instant gratification flaw rears its ugly head: The car has not yet arrived in the US! I have to wait until possibly the middle of May to get my car! How will I stand it?!?!?
Is this a character flaw that I was born with or did it develop as a reaction to society? I always thought I was a pretty patient person, but lately I just want to get things finished, settled, etc. Although I seem to blame everything on Sprout these days, I don't think I can justify this one. Right now, I think I will blame society for this glitch. If things were not so easily accessible, would we get so upset if we couldn't have them right now. Yes Sam, I am being very reflective in my old age!!
1) Let's start with Easter weekend:
It took all that I had to not tell Mark that our friends, the Dorseys, were coming to surprise him for Easter weekend. I told you: instant gratification is a problem for me. I wanted to tell him so badly, but was able to stand up to the challenge. How was I able to do this, you ask? Well, Mark's complaining Saturday helped bunch!!! Let me explain:
Earlier last week, I talked to Mark's buddy, Brian, about Easter. At that time, Brian, his wife Cathy and their two daughters were in the RV and headed to Tennessee for Spring Break. On their way home, Brian and I arranged for them to stop by our house for Easter weekend.
So Saturday rolls around and I have spent most of the week cleaning house, etc just like I would for any holiday dinner. So, there was nothing suspicious for Mark to grab onto about our Easter plans. (Our holiday dinners usually start with just a few people and end up being 15-20. I wouldn't know what to do if I had to just cook for a few and not plan for the usual crowd!)
Anyway, Saturday was a beautiful day! We're talking 70-75 degrees, sunshine, and no humidity. Mark got up with an agenda of his own that day and it did not include any of my agenda items in the slightest. He was going to play golf and that was it as far as he was concerned.
Well, I didn't know when the Dorseys would arrive, so I couldn't let him disappear. I managed to keep him busy the entire day with household projects while listening to him complain about going golfing. I think I would have caved in if I hadn't been so annoyed with his moaning and groaning about golf! He complained about every task I came up with. He complained about what we were going to do for dinner, which is something he never does. I am serious, he complained with every other breath in his body! Anyway, thank God, our guests arrived a little before 6:00 and all was forgiven, mostly. (Four days later, he is still complaining that he didn't play golf this past weekend. Maybe my next instant gratification moment will include beating him before he goes back to work on Monday!)
We had a wonderful weekend. We relaxed. We went to the Air Force Museum. We picked on my Mom on Easter sunday. (Which in my book is always a good sport.) Brian got really good blackmail info about Mark from my sister-in-law. The girls played with our nephew, Alex. Life is/was good. We were sorry to see them leave Tuesday morning. Hopefully, they will be back this summer so we can go to some of our local amusement parks, etc.
2) My second episode this week of instant gratification: the car.
As if we didn't have enough things to do this month (2 baby showers, birthing class, Easter, finishing Sprout's room) , the lease on my car expires on April 28th! So yesterday, Mark and I met for lunch and decided to take a look at the dealership to see if there was anything I liked.
Here is the instant gratification flaw again: I didn't like any of the exterior or interior colors of any of the cars on the lot! But, I didn't want to deal with this any longer, so I was willing to settle for a silver car just to get the painful process of car shopping out of the way. Thank goodness Mark knows me so well, and refused to allow me to do that. He made the salesman find the car that I wanted. But again the instant gratification flaw rears its ugly head: The car has not yet arrived in the US! I have to wait until possibly the middle of May to get my car! How will I stand it?!?!?
Is this a character flaw that I was born with or did it develop as a reaction to society? I always thought I was a pretty patient person, but lately I just want to get things finished, settled, etc. Although I seem to blame everything on Sprout these days, I don't think I can justify this one. Right now, I think I will blame society for this glitch. If things were not so easily accessible, would we get so upset if we couldn't have them right now. Yes Sam, I am being very reflective in my old age!!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Morning Sickness Advice....
Yes, I am having a baby. I know that women have been doing this for many years. I feel like I have been pregnant and sick for years! It has not been a particularly pleasant experience so far. I am sure that it is not going to change in the next 9.5 weeks. So, why does everyone feel the try to convince me that it will get better?!!!
Don't get me wrong, overall I have gotten what I consider to be great advice. There have just been a few that have really irritated me along the way. And, right now they are overriding the rest of the good!
I have had morning sickness since October 1st!!! Yes, October 1st and it is now April 13th! Why do I get to be one of the lucky ones stuck with this garbage. I must not have offered the correct sacrifice to the Gods last September. I don't know, but I can't wait for it to end.
On top of that I have had numerous colds, allergy attacks and stomach bugs. (I have another one right now, by the way.) I am tired of being sick. I am tired of worrying if the baby is okay because I am sick. And I am tired of people telling me I will forget everything about it once I see my baby. I can tell you that although I will and already do love Sprout to death, I WILL tell this child about how ill I have been during this entire process. I am an elephant. I will not forget this anytime soon, I promise!
The morning sickness has not gotten better and I wish that everyone that has told me it will had to suffer through just one month of it. (I am including the Dr. in that wish. He told me that it would go away by the 4th month. When it didn't, he said it would by the 20th week. Well guess what: No such luck! And, now he is trying to convince me that I want to do this again! I love him to death, but he must be smoking crack!!!!)
I have not run across anyone else in my circle of friends that got to enjoy morning sickness the entire time. Why am I the only lucky one? Heck, my own mother only experienced one episode of the pukes for each of her pregnancies.
I know, I know: God only gives you what you can handle. Well, she obviously thinks I am a lot stronger than I think I am!
So, here is my baby advice.... Please quit telling me it will get better and I will forget. It is not getting better. And, Sprout and I will have a talk when he/she comes out about making me suffer. (Idea: Maybe I am getting the suffering and worry out of the way now so that I don't have to deal with it as Sprout grows up?!?!? I wouldn't get that lucky!)
Don't get me wrong, overall I have gotten what I consider to be great advice. There have just been a few that have really irritated me along the way. And, right now they are overriding the rest of the good!
I have had morning sickness since October 1st!!! Yes, October 1st and it is now April 13th! Why do I get to be one of the lucky ones stuck with this garbage. I must not have offered the correct sacrifice to the Gods last September. I don't know, but I can't wait for it to end.
On top of that I have had numerous colds, allergy attacks and stomach bugs. (I have another one right now, by the way.) I am tired of being sick. I am tired of worrying if the baby is okay because I am sick. And I am tired of people telling me I will forget everything about it once I see my baby. I can tell you that although I will and already do love Sprout to death, I WILL tell this child about how ill I have been during this entire process. I am an elephant. I will not forget this anytime soon, I promise!
The morning sickness has not gotten better and I wish that everyone that has told me it will had to suffer through just one month of it. (I am including the Dr. in that wish. He told me that it would go away by the 4th month. When it didn't, he said it would by the 20th week. Well guess what: No such luck! And, now he is trying to convince me that I want to do this again! I love him to death, but he must be smoking crack!!!!)
I have not run across anyone else in my circle of friends that got to enjoy morning sickness the entire time. Why am I the only lucky one? Heck, my own mother only experienced one episode of the pukes for each of her pregnancies.
I know, I know: God only gives you what you can handle. Well, she obviously thinks I am a lot stronger than I think I am!
So, here is my baby advice.... Please quit telling me it will get better and I will forget. It is not getting better. And, Sprout and I will have a talk when he/she comes out about making me suffer. (Idea: Maybe I am getting the suffering and worry out of the way now so that I don't have to deal with it as Sprout grows up?!?!? I wouldn't get that lucky!)
Saturday, April 01, 2006
New Year's Eve and the Laundromat
I don't think I will do this story complete justice by writing it down, but I will do my best. I will also try not to pee my pants while I remember the events of that most eventful night!
Here we go.... (By the way, if you are a sympathy puker, you might want to skip this entry. It will have to be pretty graphic to get the picture across. Sorry.)
I came home from China and got the stomach flu, as most of you know. I was finally feeling a little better by New Year's Eve, but didn't really want to do much that evening. So, we stayed home, had junk food and played games with our 10 year old nephew, Alex. Around 11PM, Alex's mother got off work and joined us to play cards. Alex was getting tired so I put him in my bed to sleep until the grown ups were finished playing.
A word about Alex... He likes to cry wolf. If I had a dime for everytime that he says he doesn't feel good and is just fine, I would be rich. This is a continual problem, he is fine and the moment his mother shows up, he is dying so that she will pay attention to him. So the fact that he said he felt bad when she came in the door that evening, did not surprise me in the slightest. Well, that was my first mistake of the evening, but who knew!!?!?!?
We started playing cards and after a few minutes, I heard Alex cough in the other room. Approximately 10 minutes later, he came running out of the room headed for the bathroom. Here comes the fun part: He was puking the entire trip to the bathroom which amounted to about 25-30 feet of puke through my house! Ok, picture this: Beth went running for the bathroom to check on Alex. I headed to the bedroom to survey the damage while gagging violently. (Since getting pregnant, my gag reflex is HUGE. The idea, the smell and the mere mention of vomit can put me over the edge. I think I am turning into my husband, Mark!! UGH!!!) And, last but not least, Mark headed for the closest door out of the house and away from all the chaos. (Chicken! But in his defense, he is sympathy puker so it is better that he was outside and had the entire yard to himself.)
Well, I encountered the trail of puke upon entering the hallway. I followed it into the bedroom, around the bed and up onto the large area of my bed now covered in the the horrid stuff. Why do children have to puke right in the middle of the bed? Were talking all over the sheets, comforter and pillows!!! (Remember, Alex is still puking in the bathroom. Beth is trying to help him. Mark has bailed out of the house. And, I am gagging violently.)
Here comes my second mistake.... I strip the bed and ball everything up thinking I was containing both the liquids and solids, if you know what I mean. I carried the mass of covers and pillows through the house and outside. (Which amounted to my third and fourth mistakes of the evening, by the way.) Now remember, it is January in a northern state so you can imagine the temp, etc. Mark and I discuss what to do next and we finally decide to hook up the garden hose to spray off the solids. (Sorry if that is too graphic for ya, but that's how it goes!)
Back to mistake #3: I carried everything through the house. I left a trail of liquid through the entire house!!!! So after I got the solids sprayed off outside, I had to clean the floor through the entire house before I even got back to the original puke in the hallway and my bedroom!!
Now for mistake #4: I deposited the bedding in the yard in January. You guessed it: Add water and you get ice. Which equals: bedding stuck to the ground with the usual ground debris (leaves, sticks, etc.) and the solids from the puke!! Lesson learned: Never put your laundry in the yard in January! Laundry, plus yard, plus water, plus January equals BAD IDEA.
Okay, back to the spraying process: Mark mans the hose as far away as he can get from me with the stinking bedding. I begin digging through the pile, separating sheets, etc. I hold them up and Mark sprays them off. Remember mistake #4, I have to break them from the ground after the spraying and then throw them onto the patio where they stick again. Meanwhile, I am gagging until I puke in the front yard. At which point, Mark starts gagging but manages to hold it in. And, as is always the fashion at my house, the local police drive by at that point. (Why does this always happen to me? How do they know to come by right at that exact moment?) Well, since it was one of the officers I know, they didn't even stop to question the wacky happenings of our household at 1:00 AM!
I got everything sprayed off and broken away from the frozen ground finally. I headed back inside to survey the damage and begin the rest of the clean up. Beth was already working on the carpet in the bathroom and Alex was laying in the tub in his underwear so he could not cause any more damage! (Remember me: still gagging) Anyway, we get it all cleaned up. Thank God for the Little Green Machine!!!
Wait, this gets better. ... After cleaning everything up, I decide it would be best to go to the laundromat to wash all the wet bedding at one time. So, at about 2:00 AM, Mark and I head to the local laundromat. Here comes the really fun part.....
I put the sheets in one washer, the mattress pad in another, two pillows in yet another and finally, my favorite pillows in the triple load washer in the front of the place. Mark and I sit down to wait. After about 10 minutes, Mark says "Do you hear water running?" Now, those of you that know me can appreciate my sarcasm when I replied "Duh, we are in a laundromat, there's water here!" Mark says "No, really do you hear water?" So, we investigate and discover that there is water shooting out of the back of the washer with my favorite pillow spinning away happily inside. I'm not talking a little water here. I am talking a firehose amount of water with the pressure to match!
I then look in the front door of the washer and we determine that my favorite pillow exploded and clogged the washer which caused a water back up of epic proportions. Yes, I mean epic proportions! The water started flowing out of the washer around the door seal. Meanwhile, the water continued to flood out of the back of the washer. It was spreading all over the floor and heading for the door and the carpeted area in the front of the laundromat!
Mark and I can't find a shut off anywhere!! We finally locate an emergency number and decide we better call even though it was now 3AM on New Year's Eve!! We got a recording, left a message and continued to survey the advancing water. After no response in about 20 minutes, we decide to call the non-emergency number for the fire department. (Well, they deal with water everyday don't they!!!? At least that was my logic at 3:30 AM!!)
Meanwhile, the machine is now full to the top with water, water is flowing out around the seal with bits of my pillow. And we are almost ankle deep in water if we stand in front of the machine!! But, we just keep watching it like a train wreck! We can't believe that it just keeps flowing and flowing and flowing. The laundromat doors are acting like a dam holding the water back! We just keep watching helplessly as it continues to get deeper and deeper! And, I start laughing while Mark looks at me like I have lost my mind! (Sam questions why are we still at the laundromat at this point. She says upon hearing the story "Water plus electricity equals "Get Out" Hello!!!")
At this point, I have to comment about the loss of my favorite pillow. I loved that pillow! I had it for years. I repaired it, I washed it and I called it George! It was made of torn up rags, so, no matter what shape you put it in, it stayed there!! I will never be able to replace it! I lost a cherished friend that evening. But, I was so loopy with fatigue and the craziness of the situation, that all I could do was laugh uncontrollably! Laughing was not the reaction Mark expected and not what I would have normally done. (I don't think Mark knew what to do with me. I laughed until I was crying and dancing trying not to pee!) I will have to blame fatigue and being pregnant for that reaction!
Back to the water... Finally one of the maintenance guys arrives to shut everything down. (The fire department had better luck getting him up then we did apparently.) He walks in, says nothing and shuts the machine off at a panel behind the machine. Then, still not really talking, he opens both sets of doors to the laundromat. The water flows out like a river because it was about 4 inches deep in at least half of the building! Again, you will recall that it's January. I think the flow was used as a ice skating rink for about 2 weeks by the local children!
The maintenance guy comes back and announces that we need to open the machine. Mark and I look at each other and silently communicate our fears and question his sanity. (Being married for almost 12 years, words for this situation were not needed, just the look of panic took care of it.) I think we both figured "What the hell, we got to this point, let's see what happens!" So, we stand off to the side and he opens the door. Two words: flood gates!!!! About 75-100 gallons of water come out like a waterfall adding to the 400-500 gallons already on the floor headed for the door! (I am trying so hard not to laugh at this point, I am sputtering! I am sure the maintenance guy thought I was nuts or something!!)
So, he gets a broom and begins pushing the water out of the doors. Mark and I stand there for a second watching this crazy guy wondering if he thinks we are nuts or something. I decide to take the offensive and offer to help if he has another broom. He replies, "No, I think you have don't quite enough this evening." This is my cue to bail out before he decides we need to pay for the repairs or carpet cleaning! I politely thank him and apologize for getting him out of bed at 3AM. He says not to worry, it's his job and he would take care of the mess. Mark and I head for the door and he stops us in our tracks with: "If you want your money back for the machine, call in the morning." Our reaction: You can keep the $2.75, just let me out of here before you think about that further and decide we need to fix everything!! But, I say to him "No, no, that's okay, we're just sorry he had to get up."
In the truck on the way home, I can't even talk. I am laughing so hard and trying desperately to breath and not to pee my pants!!! I think Mark was considering the mental ward at this point, but was happy that I was laughing and not angry yet about my pillow! Anyway, we got home and decided the family room couch was the bed for the night. I hit one couch, Mark hit the other and we were lucky to get up by 11:00 AM to get to my parents for lunch.
We headed to the 'rents for lunch still in a fog from lack of sleep and our crazy life. I asked what my parents had done so far for 2006. Surely that had accomplished something this year so far. (It was about 11:30AM on New Year's Day, by the way.) After all, we had cleaned our entire house and destroyed a laundromat! My mother and aunt forbid me to go near the laundromat that they frequent. They said they did not need "Captain Destructo" in their nice laundromat!!
What a way to start the new year!!! If I didn't live in chaos, I wouldn't know what to do with myself!! Poor Mark, I bet he didn't know what a ride he was in for when he married me!! I hope he has learned from this experience so he runs away from my reincarnation in the his next life. God help him if he doesn't!!!
FYI: We did not give the fire department or the laundromat guy our real names or phone number. I was not stupid, just loopy that night! And, the machine was not repaired until last week. Yep, that's right it was the last week of March before anyone else could use that machine again! Also, Mark is convinced that our mugshots from the hidden cameras are posted in every laundromat in the country. He's probably right. If I owned the place, I would post me as one of the 10 most wanted!
Here we go.... (By the way, if you are a sympathy puker, you might want to skip this entry. It will have to be pretty graphic to get the picture across. Sorry.)
I came home from China and got the stomach flu, as most of you know. I was finally feeling a little better by New Year's Eve, but didn't really want to do much that evening. So, we stayed home, had junk food and played games with our 10 year old nephew, Alex. Around 11PM, Alex's mother got off work and joined us to play cards. Alex was getting tired so I put him in my bed to sleep until the grown ups were finished playing.
A word about Alex... He likes to cry wolf. If I had a dime for everytime that he says he doesn't feel good and is just fine, I would be rich. This is a continual problem, he is fine and the moment his mother shows up, he is dying so that she will pay attention to him. So the fact that he said he felt bad when she came in the door that evening, did not surprise me in the slightest. Well, that was my first mistake of the evening, but who knew!!?!?!?
We started playing cards and after a few minutes, I heard Alex cough in the other room. Approximately 10 minutes later, he came running out of the room headed for the bathroom. Here comes the fun part: He was puking the entire trip to the bathroom which amounted to about 25-30 feet of puke through my house! Ok, picture this: Beth went running for the bathroom to check on Alex. I headed to the bedroom to survey the damage while gagging violently. (Since getting pregnant, my gag reflex is HUGE. The idea, the smell and the mere mention of vomit can put me over the edge. I think I am turning into my husband, Mark!! UGH!!!) And, last but not least, Mark headed for the closest door out of the house and away from all the chaos. (Chicken! But in his defense, he is sympathy puker so it is better that he was outside and had the entire yard to himself.)
Well, I encountered the trail of puke upon entering the hallway. I followed it into the bedroom, around the bed and up onto the large area of my bed now covered in the the horrid stuff. Why do children have to puke right in the middle of the bed? Were talking all over the sheets, comforter and pillows!!! (Remember, Alex is still puking in the bathroom. Beth is trying to help him. Mark has bailed out of the house. And, I am gagging violently.)
Here comes my second mistake.... I strip the bed and ball everything up thinking I was containing both the liquids and solids, if you know what I mean. I carried the mass of covers and pillows through the house and outside. (Which amounted to my third and fourth mistakes of the evening, by the way.) Now remember, it is January in a northern state so you can imagine the temp, etc. Mark and I discuss what to do next and we finally decide to hook up the garden hose to spray off the solids. (Sorry if that is too graphic for ya, but that's how it goes!)
Back to mistake #3: I carried everything through the house. I left a trail of liquid through the entire house!!!! So after I got the solids sprayed off outside, I had to clean the floor through the entire house before I even got back to the original puke in the hallway and my bedroom!!
Now for mistake #4: I deposited the bedding in the yard in January. You guessed it: Add water and you get ice. Which equals: bedding stuck to the ground with the usual ground debris (leaves, sticks, etc.) and the solids from the puke!! Lesson learned: Never put your laundry in the yard in January! Laundry, plus yard, plus water, plus January equals BAD IDEA.
Okay, back to the spraying process: Mark mans the hose as far away as he can get from me with the stinking bedding. I begin digging through the pile, separating sheets, etc. I hold them up and Mark sprays them off. Remember mistake #4, I have to break them from the ground after the spraying and then throw them onto the patio where they stick again. Meanwhile, I am gagging until I puke in the front yard. At which point, Mark starts gagging but manages to hold it in. And, as is always the fashion at my house, the local police drive by at that point. (Why does this always happen to me? How do they know to come by right at that exact moment?) Well, since it was one of the officers I know, they didn't even stop to question the wacky happenings of our household at 1:00 AM!
I got everything sprayed off and broken away from the frozen ground finally. I headed back inside to survey the damage and begin the rest of the clean up. Beth was already working on the carpet in the bathroom and Alex was laying in the tub in his underwear so he could not cause any more damage! (Remember me: still gagging) Anyway, we get it all cleaned up. Thank God for the Little Green Machine!!!
Wait, this gets better. ... After cleaning everything up, I decide it would be best to go to the laundromat to wash all the wet bedding at one time. So, at about 2:00 AM, Mark and I head to the local laundromat. Here comes the really fun part.....
I put the sheets in one washer, the mattress pad in another, two pillows in yet another and finally, my favorite pillows in the triple load washer in the front of the place. Mark and I sit down to wait. After about 10 minutes, Mark says "Do you hear water running?" Now, those of you that know me can appreciate my sarcasm when I replied "Duh, we are in a laundromat, there's water here!" Mark says "No, really do you hear water?" So, we investigate and discover that there is water shooting out of the back of the washer with my favorite pillow spinning away happily inside. I'm not talking a little water here. I am talking a firehose amount of water with the pressure to match!
I then look in the front door of the washer and we determine that my favorite pillow exploded and clogged the washer which caused a water back up of epic proportions. Yes, I mean epic proportions! The water started flowing out of the washer around the door seal. Meanwhile, the water continued to flood out of the back of the washer. It was spreading all over the floor and heading for the door and the carpeted area in the front of the laundromat!
Mark and I can't find a shut off anywhere!! We finally locate an emergency number and decide we better call even though it was now 3AM on New Year's Eve!! We got a recording, left a message and continued to survey the advancing water. After no response in about 20 minutes, we decide to call the non-emergency number for the fire department. (Well, they deal with water everyday don't they!!!? At least that was my logic at 3:30 AM!!)
Meanwhile, the machine is now full to the top with water, water is flowing out around the seal with bits of my pillow. And we are almost ankle deep in water if we stand in front of the machine!! But, we just keep watching it like a train wreck! We can't believe that it just keeps flowing and flowing and flowing. The laundromat doors are acting like a dam holding the water back! We just keep watching helplessly as it continues to get deeper and deeper! And, I start laughing while Mark looks at me like I have lost my mind! (Sam questions why are we still at the laundromat at this point. She says upon hearing the story "Water plus electricity equals "Get Out" Hello!!!")
At this point, I have to comment about the loss of my favorite pillow. I loved that pillow! I had it for years. I repaired it, I washed it and I called it George! It was made of torn up rags, so, no matter what shape you put it in, it stayed there!! I will never be able to replace it! I lost a cherished friend that evening. But, I was so loopy with fatigue and the craziness of the situation, that all I could do was laugh uncontrollably! Laughing was not the reaction Mark expected and not what I would have normally done. (I don't think Mark knew what to do with me. I laughed until I was crying and dancing trying not to pee!) I will have to blame fatigue and being pregnant for that reaction!
Back to the water... Finally one of the maintenance guys arrives to shut everything down. (The fire department had better luck getting him up then we did apparently.) He walks in, says nothing and shuts the machine off at a panel behind the machine. Then, still not really talking, he opens both sets of doors to the laundromat. The water flows out like a river because it was about 4 inches deep in at least half of the building! Again, you will recall that it's January. I think the flow was used as a ice skating rink for about 2 weeks by the local children!
The maintenance guy comes back and announces that we need to open the machine. Mark and I look at each other and silently communicate our fears and question his sanity. (Being married for almost 12 years, words for this situation were not needed, just the look of panic took care of it.) I think we both figured "What the hell, we got to this point, let's see what happens!" So, we stand off to the side and he opens the door. Two words: flood gates!!!! About 75-100 gallons of water come out like a waterfall adding to the 400-500 gallons already on the floor headed for the door! (I am trying so hard not to laugh at this point, I am sputtering! I am sure the maintenance guy thought I was nuts or something!!)
So, he gets a broom and begins pushing the water out of the doors. Mark and I stand there for a second watching this crazy guy wondering if he thinks we are nuts or something. I decide to take the offensive and offer to help if he has another broom. He replies, "No, I think you have don't quite enough this evening." This is my cue to bail out before he decides we need to pay for the repairs or carpet cleaning! I politely thank him and apologize for getting him out of bed at 3AM. He says not to worry, it's his job and he would take care of the mess. Mark and I head for the door and he stops us in our tracks with: "If you want your money back for the machine, call in the morning." Our reaction: You can keep the $2.75, just let me out of here before you think about that further and decide we need to fix everything!! But, I say to him "No, no, that's okay, we're just sorry he had to get up."
In the truck on the way home, I can't even talk. I am laughing so hard and trying desperately to breath and not to pee my pants!!! I think Mark was considering the mental ward at this point, but was happy that I was laughing and not angry yet about my pillow! Anyway, we got home and decided the family room couch was the bed for the night. I hit one couch, Mark hit the other and we were lucky to get up by 11:00 AM to get to my parents for lunch.
We headed to the 'rents for lunch still in a fog from lack of sleep and our crazy life. I asked what my parents had done so far for 2006. Surely that had accomplished something this year so far. (It was about 11:30AM on New Year's Day, by the way.) After all, we had cleaned our entire house and destroyed a laundromat! My mother and aunt forbid me to go near the laundromat that they frequent. They said they did not need "Captain Destructo" in their nice laundromat!!
What a way to start the new year!!! If I didn't live in chaos, I wouldn't know what to do with myself!! Poor Mark, I bet he didn't know what a ride he was in for when he married me!! I hope he has learned from this experience so he runs away from my reincarnation in the his next life. God help him if he doesn't!!!
FYI: We did not give the fire department or the laundromat guy our real names or phone number. I was not stupid, just loopy that night! And, the machine was not repaired until last week. Yep, that's right it was the last week of March before anyone else could use that machine again! Also, Mark is convinced that our mugshots from the hidden cameras are posted in every laundromat in the country. He's probably right. If I owned the place, I would post me as one of the 10 most wanted!