This trip to Phoenix made me realize that there are a lot of "F"s in our lives. Think about the obvious ones: family, friends, futures. So what in particular brought me this revelation? I think it was Mark 'f'arting on me during the last leg of our flight home. Or maybe it was his seat in 'f'irst class! Come to think of it Phoenix is an "f" word all it's own. (Just go with the alliteration there people and leave me be about it!!)
1) Family and Funeral: We made a quick decision on Friday afternoon that we needed to go to Tom's funeral. Tom's mother and Mark's father were siblings. Mark's father had another sister, but we have virtually no contact with any of his cousins. (Valued exception: His wonderful cousin, Carol and her fab husband, Court!) I booked the tickets Friday afternoon, secured a hotel, googled maps, started packing and called my parents for help.
Now admittedly, I don't usually call on my parents for help (which is my own issue), but they really came through for us. They watch my nephew, Anson, every once in a while, but he and Ian are very different kids. I am sure they were in no way prepared for the constant motion that is the tornado known as "Ian"! But, as Mom pointed out that's what 'f'amily is for. However, I'm not sure she will volunteer for that assignment again anytime soon! He really kept them hopping the entire time we were gone. I don't think they really believed me when I said he never stops moving and you have to keep an eye on him at all times. (Example: I took him to a local museum after we got back. With me standing beside him, he very quickly managed to climb the GLASS wall of the turtle exhibit and almost fall in!)
2) Flying and First Class: Yes, you read the Mark's seat in first class thing correctly. He managed to upgrade thanks to his Elite status with Continental. Which left Marion and I in coach in the butt of the plane! Needless to say, he has been called a few very choice names which are not fit to post here. Over all our flights were uneventful, but it is amazing how many people are at the airport at 5AM on a Saturday in July.
3) Fatigue and Phoenix (I told you all to just go with it!): We arrived, had an amazing lunch at a Peruvian Grill, checked into the hotel and called Cousin Gwen, Tom's sister. We were able to navigate across the city to her home for a dinner prepared by her wonderful neighbor. (You can always tell who is a Midwest transplant, because if there is a death in the family in the Midwest you bring food.) We had a great visit and headed back to the hotel so that I could collapse. Why collapse? Well, I never slept Friday night and I could not sleep on the plane! I had a serious case of 'f'atigue by the time I hit the queen size bed in our room. Fortunately, I was too tired to care that Mark and I were squeezed into this bed like sardines.
We got up the next morning and had an wonderful breakfast at the hotel. Then headed to Marlys' home to visit. Again, we had a great visit with her, her children, her brothers and sister, and their families. At the end of the day, we decided to meet friends back on the other side of town for dinner. So we again treked across the city to meet the Stewarts. Side note about Monsoon Season in AZ: These people do not know how to drive in a small shower even! The city floods and shuts down. It took us some time, but we made it to the restaurant, called ClaimJumper. We had a great visit and again headed to the hotel.
4) Fighting Mad, a Funeral and Family: Monday morning I was awoken by banging at about 7AM. Somewhere in the hotel around our room, a repairman was banging a hammer. Now, I understand that repairs/renovations have to be made, but 7 AM is a bit much for me. I got up ready to kill someone, but could not find the culprit. So, I was up at that point and just got ready for the day. Yes, I complained but with little success.
Tom's funeral was lovely. Tom and Marlys have not been regularly attending a church, so Marlys managed to find a Memorial Garden for the service. The minister they provided did a great job of listening to Marlys about Tom's life and passions. We were treated to a wonderful video of photos ranging from childhood through his last trip to the Speedway to watch the Nascar racing he loved so much. Afterward, we headed to the house to spend time with family and friends. We discovered that I have a much better grasp on Mark's family tree then he does! I finally got to put faces with the names Mark's mother always mentioned. We enjoyed the visit, just not the reason for it.
5) Furiously Mad Again: Tuesday morning arrived at 6:45 thanks to more banging!!! This time, Marion and I both were woken up and we complained. We were told that they were renovating rooms but were not to start until 8AM. Well, someone forgot to tell the 'f'lipping idiot with the hammer! (FYI: When booking the hotel, I called their national 1 800 number to make sure this hotel was not under any construction. I was clearly lied to and that will not go without me fighting back. We have platinum points at this particular hotel and I certainly don't appreciate being lied to or woken up like we were!)
6) Flying, Freaks and Farting: We had breakfast and headed to the airport to return the rental car. (Wish someone had told us we had to drive through the ENTIRE airport just to return the car!) We checked in with the airline and Mark was again upgraded. (He will never live this one down!)
I know this has been a long post, but I hope you are all still reading because the FREAK that I sat next to on the way to Houston is worth reading about. She was an attractive woman in her late 40's or early 50's. She had the window seat and was the last to board the plane. She sat down, opened her purse and the fun began! Everything in her purse was in plastic bags. I mean everything: her glasses, her change, her UNDERWEAR!! She finally pulled out a small bottle and began annoiting her self with a horrible smelling oil. (Think Vick's Vapor Rub times 10!) She even reached down her shirt, pulled it open and rubbed this stuff on her chest, arms, etc. Then she wrapped a clothe of it around her neck. At this point, I was trying to do as much shallow breathing as possible so that the stuff didn't make me sick. Then she stole one of those nasty blankets they provide. (Yep, she tucked it into a bag from her purse too!) This was followed by a meditation moaning throughout the entire flight while she slowly moved her head from shoulder to shoulder. When they came to serve us drinks, I had to settle her down because she thought she missed her turn and flipped out. Then she ordered 'canned water". They finally decided she wanted tonic water. She scanned the can at close range and 'flung' it back at them past my head! Then got bottled water with no ice which she promptly poured into her canteen/flask. (I'm going with flask because I think she had to at least be drinking something to be that much of a freak!) When we were getting ready to land, she again asked for water with no ice and flipped droplets on herself (and me), set the full glass on the floor and left it. Remember, she still smells and is now asking me why the flight attendants keep giving her looks because they don't seem very friendly or helpful to her! ( I told her I hadn't notice with my best mock surprise face firmly in place.) We finally landed and she rudely told me she had another plane to catch and I must get out of her way! Well, I had enough by that point. I said: "Honey, so do I. So, you can just sit there and wait with the rest of us!" She huffed at me indignently and proceeded to bounce in her seat like a small child until we were able to get up. (FYI: The lady in the aisle seat started chuckling to herself at my comment which caused a chain reaction of about 5 other people.) Like I said FREAK!!!
