I have stepped over many milestones this month, most of them in the last seven days. The beginning of the month marked the one year anniversary of Mom passing away. This past week, however, has seen more milestones than anyone should in one week. First, my birthday last Friday. (Yep, I got to share it with Earth Day and Good Friday this year. Lucky me!) Next was the first Easter without Mom. She passed away just after Easter last year. Also, the first Easter meal which I did not eat at home. And, the first one that I haven't cooked in 16 years! Then, Tuesday marked the 17th year that I have worked for Mike. Seventeen years of baseball seasons, football seasons and crazy clients. (Not to mention the crazy people that deal with them!)
On top of that, I am in the process of weeding out my life. Getting rid of things and people that drain me financially, emotionally and physically. In some ways, that is a milestone too. I am the person that always says yes when you ask for help. Sometimes I spread myself so thin, that I can't function anymore. So my growth milestone, is to learn not to do that to myself anymore. Not allowing myself to be used by anyone is a big blessing. It's difficult, especially when you expect better from people. Hopefully, they figure out the milestone in their life that I am forcing them to step on. Unfortunately, some people just make a life of using and abusing others and never understand that life can be so much better without that garbage.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Conversations with Ian
Ian: Why did God need my Daddy?
Me: I don't know, honey.
Ian: Well, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask him!
Me: You do that!
Ian and I had this conversation this afternoon while sorting laundry. I would love to know what he thinks about some days. These questions just come up at random times and I wonder what he is thinking that makes him ask. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he asks the questions. I am just not sure where they come from some days.
Me: I don't know, honey.
Ian: Well, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask him!
Me: You do that!
Ian and I had this conversation this afternoon while sorting laundry. I would love to know what he thinks about some days. These questions just come up at random times and I wonder what he is thinking that makes him ask. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he asks the questions. I am just not sure where they come from some days.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Amazed! *Updated*
I actually got a check in the mail today for the annuity! They still haven't paid the much smaller security account though. Go figure!
*Update*
And, today I got a check for the balance in the security account. I guess they found someone to translate for them!
*Update*
And, today I got a check for the balance in the security account. I guess they found someone to translate for them!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Dealing With Idiots
I am seriously tired of dealing with idiots! It seems like everything I try to do since Mark died has been as complicated as it can possibly be. It's not like I didn't go through hell just to bring him home, but ever since I have been beating my head against a brick wall of flames. For example, I think the 4th attempt to straighten out Ian's college account with the second company has finally worked! I am just so tired of fighting for each little thing. Life is difficult enough without all this crap!
Idiot Story #1
I just got home from cashing in a CD that my grandparents purchased in 1982. Well, lots of things have changed since then and proving all that to the bank was a major pain in the butt! I had simply forgotten about the CD until I went to my amazing tax lady on Friday. She asked for the earnings statement and I never got one this year. So, I came home and called the bank that had just recently purchased the last bank that owned the CD. (For the record, 4 banks have owned this account over the years. And, none of them could get it right!) They could not find the account number in their system. I gave them my social security number and they couldn't find that either. To make a long story short, I had to find the original certificate issued in 1982! And, even that wasn't good enough! Because, the idiots had my social security number linked to my grandmother's name. During my second call, they asked to speak to her. I not so nicely explained that would be impossible since she died in 2001. They finally took pity on me and told me that it only earned $3.50 last year and therefore, I didn't get a statement. (They only have to send statements for tax purposes if it earns over $10 that year.) Gee, to you think that you could have at least just told me that it was less than $10 during the first call!?!? Then, they suggested that I go to a local branch and get the documentation sent to my house and in my name. Lovely, I have no idea where a branch is and I tried 8 times with the last bank to get this straightened out!
So, I gathered all the paperwork I thought I might need after locating a branch office. And, I collected some that I shouldn't need, but probably would. (Because that's how my world works!) I handed over my driver's license, my marriage license, my SS card with my maiden name, my grandmother's death certificate and the original CD paperwork. And, they asked me for another form of ID! After paying a penalty for cashing in the CD, I was out of there. I will never set foot in that bank again!
Idiot Story #2
Mark had an annuity with me named as the sole beneficiary through a well known insurance company. He also had a small amount of money in a security account that his mother left him when she died. I called the company, got the claim forms and proceeded to gather documentation. I was informed that I would need an entry from the Court showing I was the executor for the annuity! WTH?!?! I was named as the beneficiary, I shouldn't need that! (Trust me I know these things!) But okay, I provided it along with the Report of Death of an American Citizen Abroad which is his Death Certificate. (D/C) If you die outside of the US, this is the form you get and they do not issue an American D/C. They also had me fill out a Foreign Death Questionnaire which asked a multitude of questions that they did not need to know. (i.e. Did he have a return ticket? What company was he flying home on? Where did he go? Where was he going before coming home? Who saw him buried other than family? etc. This company is well known for not liking to pay claims and basing that decision on small issues.)
I sent all this paperwork to the insurance company. A few days later I got a letter asking for his Death Certificate! Already annoyed, I called them and explained that they already had it. The rest of the conversation went like this:
Her (company employee): We need the original of the D/C issued by the UAE.
My response: Is there a reason the Report of Death is not good enough for you. It was issued by the federal government!?!?
Her: We need to see the original D/C .
Me: You can't have it. I have one and cannot get another. And, I won't even waste my time explaining to you what I had to go through to get that one! So, no you can't have it and it wouldn't do you any good anyway.
Her: Why?
Me: Because it's in Arabic!
Her: Well, we still need to see it. Can you fax a copy to us?
Me: Sure!
So, I faxed it to them. And today I received a call from them that went like this:
Her: Mrs. E?
Me: Yes
Her: We can't read this D/C because it's in another language.
Me: Dial tone!
That's right. I hung up on the stupid woman! I guess I will sit back and wait for the letter that I am sure I will get denying the claim.
Idiot Story #1
I just got home from cashing in a CD that my grandparents purchased in 1982. Well, lots of things have changed since then and proving all that to the bank was a major pain in the butt! I had simply forgotten about the CD until I went to my amazing tax lady on Friday. She asked for the earnings statement and I never got one this year. So, I came home and called the bank that had just recently purchased the last bank that owned the CD. (For the record, 4 banks have owned this account over the years. And, none of them could get it right!) They could not find the account number in their system. I gave them my social security number and they couldn't find that either. To make a long story short, I had to find the original certificate issued in 1982! And, even that wasn't good enough! Because, the idiots had my social security number linked to my grandmother's name. During my second call, they asked to speak to her. I not so nicely explained that would be impossible since she died in 2001. They finally took pity on me and told me that it only earned $3.50 last year and therefore, I didn't get a statement. (They only have to send statements for tax purposes if it earns over $10 that year.) Gee, to you think that you could have at least just told me that it was less than $10 during the first call!?!? Then, they suggested that I go to a local branch and get the documentation sent to my house and in my name. Lovely, I have no idea where a branch is and I tried 8 times with the last bank to get this straightened out!
So, I gathered all the paperwork I thought I might need after locating a branch office. And, I collected some that I shouldn't need, but probably would. (Because that's how my world works!) I handed over my driver's license, my marriage license, my SS card with my maiden name, my grandmother's death certificate and the original CD paperwork. And, they asked me for another form of ID! After paying a penalty for cashing in the CD, I was out of there. I will never set foot in that bank again!
Idiot Story #2
Mark had an annuity with me named as the sole beneficiary through a well known insurance company. He also had a small amount of money in a security account that his mother left him when she died. I called the company, got the claim forms and proceeded to gather documentation. I was informed that I would need an entry from the Court showing I was the executor for the annuity! WTH?!?! I was named as the beneficiary, I shouldn't need that! (Trust me I know these things!) But okay, I provided it along with the Report of Death of an American Citizen Abroad which is his Death Certificate. (D/C) If you die outside of the US, this is the form you get and they do not issue an American D/C. They also had me fill out a Foreign Death Questionnaire which asked a multitude of questions that they did not need to know. (i.e. Did he have a return ticket? What company was he flying home on? Where did he go? Where was he going before coming home? Who saw him buried other than family? etc. This company is well known for not liking to pay claims and basing that decision on small issues.)
I sent all this paperwork to the insurance company. A few days later I got a letter asking for his Death Certificate! Already annoyed, I called them and explained that they already had it. The rest of the conversation went like this:
Her (company employee): We need the original of the D/C issued by the UAE.
My response: Is there a reason the Report of Death is not good enough for you. It was issued by the federal government!?!?
Her: We need to see the original D/C .
Me: You can't have it. I have one and cannot get another. And, I won't even waste my time explaining to you what I had to go through to get that one! So, no you can't have it and it wouldn't do you any good anyway.
Her: Why?
Me: Because it's in Arabic!
Her: Well, we still need to see it. Can you fax a copy to us?
Me: Sure!
So, I faxed it to them. And today I received a call from them that went like this:
Her: Mrs. E?
Me: Yes
Her: We can't read this D/C because it's in another language.
Me: Dial tone!
That's right. I hung up on the stupid woman! I guess I will sit back and wait for the letter that I am sure I will get denying the claim.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Being Good
Ian had a very serious discussion with Papaw and I the other day. He first told us the he had been good for the past couple of days. So, Santa should be happy with him and bring him toys next Christmas! Next, he asked us if we could please tell Santa he had been good. And, if we did this he would be good tomorrow! This sounds suspiciously like "I will gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today." I didn't realize that I was living in a Pop-eye cartoon!
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
One Year
The first time she held Ian.
Reading to Ian.
Playing with Anson.Dear Mom,
I can hardly believe that it has been a year. Some days it seems like it was just last week that I was telling you stories about Ian's latest exploits. Other days it seems like forever ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about calling you.
Your two amazing grandsons have done so many great things this year. They both are getting so tall! Neither one of them can hold up a pair pants without elastic in the waist. Each time I see Anson, I hear another story about his boo-boos and how much blood there was when he got hurt. I am beginning to wonder if he will turn out to be a doctor! Which is a good thing for Ian, because he will probably need his services! Ian continues to try to defy gravity at every chance. I think the gymnastics class has only made him even less fearful of falling.
Anson spent the weekend with us in March. He showed me how he has learned to write his name! This evening, he was telling me his entire name and Ian's. This past year, I bribed him with toys to poop in the potty. For several weeks, he called to tell me how the pooping was going! I couldn't help but think of you! He has wicked little laugh which makes me smile every time I hear it. He is just too stinking cute for his own good!
Ian is learning to read! He reads to me each night now instead of me reading to him. You loved to read so much, I can only imagine how proud you would be of him! He headed for Kindergarten next year. I can't believe that he will be 5 in June! This past summer, he learned to ride his bike without training wheels. His amazing balance and lack of fear came in handy for that one! He continues to go at life as fast as he can. It takes just about all I have to keep up most days!
I love and miss you more than any words can convey,
Heather
I can hardly believe that it has been a year. Some days it seems like it was just last week that I was telling you stories about Ian's latest exploits. Other days it seems like forever ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about calling you.
Your two amazing grandsons have done so many great things this year. They both are getting so tall! Neither one of them can hold up a pair pants without elastic in the waist. Each time I see Anson, I hear another story about his boo-boos and how much blood there was when he got hurt. I am beginning to wonder if he will turn out to be a doctor! Which is a good thing for Ian, because he will probably need his services! Ian continues to try to defy gravity at every chance. I think the gymnastics class has only made him even less fearful of falling.
Anson spent the weekend with us in March. He showed me how he has learned to write his name! This evening, he was telling me his entire name and Ian's. This past year, I bribed him with toys to poop in the potty. For several weeks, he called to tell me how the pooping was going! I couldn't help but think of you! He has wicked little laugh which makes me smile every time I hear it. He is just too stinking cute for his own good!
Ian is learning to read! He reads to me each night now instead of me reading to him. You loved to read so much, I can only imagine how proud you would be of him! He headed for Kindergarten next year. I can't believe that he will be 5 in June! This past summer, he learned to ride his bike without training wheels. His amazing balance and lack of fear came in handy for that one! He continues to go at life as fast as he can. It takes just about all I have to keep up most days!
I love and miss you more than any words can convey,
Heather