On the way home from basketball practice this evening, Ian and I had the following conversation:
Ian: Mommy is that dude in the diaper with the arrow gonna visit our house tomorrow?
Me: Do you mean Cupid?
Ian: Yes
Me: I don't know, why?
Ian: Cuz I don't want him to shoot me in the bum so I turn into a teenager and fall in love!
Me: You don't turn into a teenager!
Ian: Oh good!
Me: So, who would you fall in love with?
Ian: Gracie, I think. Yes, Gracie
Me: Why Gracie?
Ian: She laughs at me. She thinks I am funny.
Me: Okay then!
A little bit later he asked me this:
Ian: Mommy does it hurt when he shoots you in the bum with the arrow?
Me: No, because it's not real.
Ian: Oh, so it's magic!
I would love to know where he gets this stuff!
Showing posts with label Ian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ian. Show all posts
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dear Ian
Dear Ian,
I think you learned a powerful lesson today. At least, I hope you did. Yesterday, you had a really bad day. And, today you had to pay for it and so did I. Today, was my first 'talk' with the principal at your school. Thankfully, that talk was not requested by Mr. Leopold, but initiated by me!
You learned that it is never okay to be unkind. You were not nice to your friend, Sarah, in the car on the way to school. We discussed it, you apologized and I thought that was the end of your problems for the day. Wow, was I wrong! You told the other Ian in your class that even though Miss Popp said there was not going to be any storms, there was going to be a large tornado. You knew he was afraid of storms, yet you still said that! We discussed the note from the teacher when you got home. We went out on a errand and you were hateful to me. You spent time in a corner at the store! How lovely it was standing there as all the people filed past! Thankfully, I am beyond being embarrassed about it. I don't have a problem putting you in the corner in public as I feel I would be doing the world a disservice if I just ignored your actions like some parents. Finally, you settled down. We had dinner and all was right in your world again. I am not sure what switch was flipped for that to happen, but I am happy that it did!
This morning, you got up worried about what I was going to do. I decided last night how to handle this one. I walked you into school. We stopped to talk to the principal. I made you apologize to him for being mean to another student. Then, I walked you to class which is something I have not done since the first few days of school. I made you apologize to your teacher and to the other student.
Why did I do that you kept asking? Because I realize that it is not cool/fun for Mom to walk you into class and make you apologize in front of everyone for something you did. Hopefully, you figured out that not only do you not want that to happen again, but that you also will be kind to others. My intention was not to embarrass you, but to make you think about what you do before you do it. It was a painful lesson, but one that I hope you will remember for the rest of your life.
Remember that I will always love you no matter what you do. And, I will always make you answer for the things you do! It is so important to you are always kind, that you treat others with respect and that you learn from your mistakes.
Love,
Mommy
I think you learned a powerful lesson today. At least, I hope you did. Yesterday, you had a really bad day. And, today you had to pay for it and so did I. Today, was my first 'talk' with the principal at your school. Thankfully, that talk was not requested by Mr. Leopold, but initiated by me!
You learned that it is never okay to be unkind. You were not nice to your friend, Sarah, in the car on the way to school. We discussed it, you apologized and I thought that was the end of your problems for the day. Wow, was I wrong! You told the other Ian in your class that even though Miss Popp said there was not going to be any storms, there was going to be a large tornado. You knew he was afraid of storms, yet you still said that! We discussed the note from the teacher when you got home. We went out on a errand and you were hateful to me. You spent time in a corner at the store! How lovely it was standing there as all the people filed past! Thankfully, I am beyond being embarrassed about it. I don't have a problem putting you in the corner in public as I feel I would be doing the world a disservice if I just ignored your actions like some parents. Finally, you settled down. We had dinner and all was right in your world again. I am not sure what switch was flipped for that to happen, but I am happy that it did!
This morning, you got up worried about what I was going to do. I decided last night how to handle this one. I walked you into school. We stopped to talk to the principal. I made you apologize to him for being mean to another student. Then, I walked you to class which is something I have not done since the first few days of school. I made you apologize to your teacher and to the other student.
Why did I do that you kept asking? Because I realize that it is not cool/fun for Mom to walk you into class and make you apologize in front of everyone for something you did. Hopefully, you figured out that not only do you not want that to happen again, but that you also will be kind to others. My intention was not to embarrass you, but to make you think about what you do before you do it. It was a painful lesson, but one that I hope you will remember for the rest of your life.
Remember that I will always love you no matter what you do. And, I will always make you answer for the things you do! It is so important to you are always kind, that you treat others with respect and that you learn from your mistakes.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Mind of Ian
In the last couple of days, Ian has amazed me with his thought processes and questions. He is really trying to figure out his world and that makes for some lively question and answer periods around here!
Last night while in the bathtub, he was bent in half checking out his parts. That alone was enough to make me laugh, because he had his nose approximately 3 inches away from his penis! Anyway, he proceeded to ask me the following question: "Mama, what are these ball things inside me under my pee-pee?" OMG! Every name/label came to mind, but I quickly told him that was his scrotum. Then, I ran into the hallway, grabbed a pillow and laughed until I almost peed my pants!
This evening, he learned that our friends, Keith and Sherry, are going to have a baby. He wanted to know if he could touch Sherry's tummy. He was very interested in how this whole baby thing worked. He worried that he might hurt the baby hugging Sherry. He wondered if the baby would hear him if he yelled. But the best one of all: He wanted to know if Aunt Sherry pooped, would the baby come out too? I told him no, that's not how it works. He then wanted to know what keeps the baby in there. I started to explain when he suggested that the "Force" is what keeps the baby inside her tummy. For once in my life, I am thankful that he loves Star Wars!
A couple of days ago, he asked me about a song on the radio. I honestly don't remember paying attention to the words of songs until I was much older! (Note to self: You need to pay closer attention to what is playing on the radio from now on!) Anyway, the song was about a guy who fell in love with the farmer's daughter. One of the lines explains that her kiss was sweet. He asked if she was eating candy! I explained that it meant, he was in love with her so the kiss was more important. End of subject, or so I thought! Yesterday, we were discussing his class trip to a local farm. He wanted to know if 'she' would be there. I asked who he was talking about and finally figured out he wanted to know if the farmer's daughter would be there! I told him that she would not and it wouldn't matter even if she was because he was not supposed to kiss her. He pouted and told me he needed to know if she tasted like candy!
I would love to be able to crawl inside his mind somedays!
Last night while in the bathtub, he was bent in half checking out his parts. That alone was enough to make me laugh, because he had his nose approximately 3 inches away from his penis! Anyway, he proceeded to ask me the following question: "Mama, what are these ball things inside me under my pee-pee?" OMG! Every name/label came to mind, but I quickly told him that was his scrotum. Then, I ran into the hallway, grabbed a pillow and laughed until I almost peed my pants!
This evening, he learned that our friends, Keith and Sherry, are going to have a baby. He wanted to know if he could touch Sherry's tummy. He was very interested in how this whole baby thing worked. He worried that he might hurt the baby hugging Sherry. He wondered if the baby would hear him if he yelled. But the best one of all: He wanted to know if Aunt Sherry pooped, would the baby come out too? I told him no, that's not how it works. He then wanted to know what keeps the baby in there. I started to explain when he suggested that the "Force" is what keeps the baby inside her tummy. For once in my life, I am thankful that he loves Star Wars!
A couple of days ago, he asked me about a song on the radio. I honestly don't remember paying attention to the words of songs until I was much older! (Note to self: You need to pay closer attention to what is playing on the radio from now on!) Anyway, the song was about a guy who fell in love with the farmer's daughter. One of the lines explains that her kiss was sweet. He asked if she was eating candy! I explained that it meant, he was in love with her so the kiss was more important. End of subject, or so I thought! Yesterday, we were discussing his class trip to a local farm. He wanted to know if 'she' would be there. I asked who he was talking about and finally figured out he wanted to know if the farmer's daughter would be there! I told him that she would not and it wouldn't matter even if she was because he was not supposed to kiss her. He pouted and told me he needed to know if she tasted like candy!
I would love to be able to crawl inside his mind somedays!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Something I Wondered About..
Ever since Ian potty trained himself, I have wondered if he would recognize that he needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Yes, he potty trained himself. He got up one day and said he was done wearing diapers. And since that day, he has only had one accident at night which I count as my fault. (I did not make sure that he went to the bathroom before he went to bed.) So, ever since I have wondered...
Well, I got my answer tonight! I heard all this noise over the monitor while I was checking my email. I got up to investigate and he was in the bathroom! He was clearly not very awake because he was swaying and making absolutely no sense whatsoever. But, he was in the bathroom doing his thing! I tucked him back in bed and he went right back to sleep. I am very proud of him! Sometimes, it's the small victories.
Well, I got my answer tonight! I heard all this noise over the monitor while I was checking my email. I got up to investigate and he was in the bathroom! He was clearly not very awake because he was swaying and making absolutely no sense whatsoever. But, he was in the bathroom doing his thing! I tucked him back in bed and he went right back to sleep. I am very proud of him! Sometimes, it's the small victories.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Conversations with Ian
Ian: Why did God need my Daddy?
Me: I don't know, honey.
Ian: Well, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask him!
Me: You do that!
Ian and I had this conversation this afternoon while sorting laundry. I would love to know what he thinks about some days. These questions just come up at random times and I wonder what he is thinking that makes him ask. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he asks the questions. I am just not sure where they come from some days.
Me: I don't know, honey.
Ian: Well, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask him!
Me: You do that!
Ian and I had this conversation this afternoon while sorting laundry. I would love to know what he thinks about some days. These questions just come up at random times and I wonder what he is thinking that makes him ask. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he asks the questions. I am just not sure where they come from some days.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Being Good
Ian had a very serious discussion with Papaw and I the other day. He first told us the he had been good for the past couple of days. So, Santa should be happy with him and bring him toys next Christmas! Next, he asked us if we could please tell Santa he had been good. And, if we did this he would be good tomorrow! This sounds suspiciously like "I will gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today." I didn't realize that I was living in a Pop-eye cartoon!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Name Calling
I was at Ian's school this past Friday. Anson was visiting and we decided to have lunch with Ian at his school. After lunch the boys played with all the children in Ian's school. A few minutes into the playing, Ian's friend J came up to me. He said Ian called him a name. Immediately, I explained to Ian that it was not nice to call people names. He apologized and they went on playing. Crisis averted.
So, are you asking what name he called his friend? You know that I had to ask. The worst name that Ian could come up with to call his friend is: chicken-beef! Let me know when you stop laughing! It took all I had to not laugh the first time I heard him call someone that. I guess I should be happy that chicken-beef is the worst he can come up with at this point. I think I will try calling someone this the next time they tick me off. Want to bet I end up laughing?
So, are you asking what name he called his friend? You know that I had to ask. The worst name that Ian could come up with to call his friend is: chicken-beef! Let me know when you stop laughing! It took all I had to not laugh the first time I heard him call someone that. I guess I should be happy that chicken-beef is the worst he can come up with at this point. I think I will try calling someone this the next time they tick me off. Want to bet I end up laughing?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Conversations with Ian
Ian continues to entertain me with his wit and perspective on the world! Here are some recent conversations that I had with him:
Ian: I am going to kiss my girlfriend each night before bed.
Me: You better not kiss any girls besides your Mommy!
Ian: But if I don't kiss them, they will not like me anymore!
Me: Which girlfriends are we talking about here?
Ian: Megan and Marissa.
Ian: How come Justin B(ieber) sings like a girl?
Me: Because he hasn't hit puberty yet.
Ian: What is puberty?
Me: When boy's voices change. (Trying to get out of the entire discussion!)
Ian: Shouldn't he be old enough by now? (Truer words have not been spoken!)
Me: I would think so, but I don't control these things.
Ian: Well, it's weird. (Again true words!)
Ian: Papaw is old.
Me: What makes you think he is old?
Ian: Well you have to be 80 to be old.
Me: Papaw is only 78. He won't be 80 for 2 more years.
Ian: Oh, well I guess he isn't old yet then.
Me: I am sure he will like to hear that.
Ian: But, you are old Mom.
Me: Ugh! (Thanks, I wonder where the boy got that smart mouth?!?!!)
Ian: I am going to kiss my girlfriend each night before bed.
Me: You better not kiss any girls besides your Mommy!
Ian: But if I don't kiss them, they will not like me anymore!
Me: Which girlfriends are we talking about here?
Ian: Megan and Marissa.
Ian: How come Justin B(ieber) sings like a girl?
Me: Because he hasn't hit puberty yet.
Ian: What is puberty?
Me: When boy's voices change. (Trying to get out of the entire discussion!)
Ian: Shouldn't he be old enough by now? (Truer words have not been spoken!)
Me: I would think so, but I don't control these things.
Ian: Well, it's weird. (Again true words!)
Ian: Papaw is old.
Me: What makes you think he is old?
Ian: Well you have to be 80 to be old.
Me: Papaw is only 78. He won't be 80 for 2 more years.
Ian: Oh, well I guess he isn't old yet then.
Me: I am sure he will like to hear that.
Ian: But, you are old Mom.
Me: Ugh! (Thanks, I wonder where the boy got that smart mouth?!?!!)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Conversations with Ian
This morning on the way to school, I had the following exchange with Ian. This will make you cry. You have been warned.
Me: (sigh)
Ian: What's wrong Mommy?
Me: Everything seems to slow me down today.
Ian: That's okay Mama.
Me: You know what, you are right. Maybe it's God's way of keeping me from being in an accident or something. God is good!
Ian: God is mean.
Me: Why do you say that?
Ian: He took my Daddy and Grandma.
Me: That doesn't make him mean. He must have needed them more that he thought we needed them. (I can't possibly think of a reason why, but who knows.)
Ian: I don't think so. (Pause) Can we get ice cream after school today?
I am not sure whether he intentionally changed the subject or if he just decided to disagree. You can never tell with him. The boy can argue like nothing I have ever seen. He is stubborn! (Don't have a clue where that came from!) If I had to choose, I would say he changed the subject. He knows that October 26th is coming. We have had a couple of weeks of not talking too much about Daddy, Grandma and Whiskey. The last week or so, it has been his topic of choice. And, he likes to pull out the "I miss/want my Daddy" when he gets in trouble. That is such a fun one! I have learned to not show any emotion, just respond with "Daddy would be here if he could, but he would not like to see you causing trouble." He doesn't understand the pain he causes with that one, but it rips me apart inside every single time. Will there ever be a day that it doesn't????
Me: (sigh)
Ian: What's wrong Mommy?
Me: Everything seems to slow me down today.
Ian: That's okay Mama.
Me: You know what, you are right. Maybe it's God's way of keeping me from being in an accident or something. God is good!
Ian: God is mean.
Me: Why do you say that?
Ian: He took my Daddy and Grandma.
Me: That doesn't make him mean. He must have needed them more that he thought we needed them. (I can't possibly think of a reason why, but who knows.)
Ian: I don't think so. (Pause) Can we get ice cream after school today?
I am not sure whether he intentionally changed the subject or if he just decided to disagree. You can never tell with him. The boy can argue like nothing I have ever seen. He is stubborn! (Don't have a clue where that came from!) If I had to choose, I would say he changed the subject. He knows that October 26th is coming. We have had a couple of weeks of not talking too much about Daddy, Grandma and Whiskey. The last week or so, it has been his topic of choice. And, he likes to pull out the "I miss/want my Daddy" when he gets in trouble. That is such a fun one! I have learned to not show any emotion, just respond with "Daddy would be here if he could, but he would not like to see you causing trouble." He doesn't understand the pain he causes with that one, but it rips me apart inside every single time. Will there ever be a day that it doesn't????
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Big Boy Stuff
Guess who learned to ride his big boy bike last night? That's right, IAN!!!!!!
I took his training wheels off about 4 days ago, but he has struggled with riding until last night. I kept telling him that if he would just peddle, he would be able to do it. I knew he was ready to take the training wheels off, because I was rarely hearing them actually touch the pavement when he rode. We have tried each day but last night he decided he was going to do it. He rode up and down our street for about 2 hours!!! And, he wanted to ride before he went to school this morning. I am so proud of him!
WATCH OUT WORLD, IAN IS MOBILE!!!!
(I will try to take and post pictures this evening. I was too busy celebrating last night! I did get some video on my phone though.)
I took his training wheels off about 4 days ago, but he has struggled with riding until last night. I kept telling him that if he would just peddle, he would be able to do it. I knew he was ready to take the training wheels off, because I was rarely hearing them actually touch the pavement when he rode. We have tried each day but last night he decided he was going to do it. He rode up and down our street for about 2 hours!!! And, he wanted to ride before he went to school this morning. I am so proud of him!
WATCH OUT WORLD, IAN IS MOBILE!!!!
(I will try to take and post pictures this evening. I was too busy celebrating last night! I did get some video on my phone though.)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Ian-isms
Ian is playing soccer. He is on a team made up of 4 girls and 6 boys. One of the girls on the team has a white mother and black father. (We will call her T.) Yesterday, he was trying to make me understand that he was talking about that particular girl. This is how the conversation went:
Ian: You know T?
Me: Who?
Ian, T, on my soccer team. She has pretty brown skin. She looks like the sushi guy.
Me: (Leaving the room snickering.) Ok.
So, he sees a difference. He obviously doesn't care. But clearly, I have taken him to too many sushi restaurants!
Papaw offered him a dollar the other day if he scored a goal. About one minute later (you could practically hear the gears turning!), he said: "So Papaw, if I score 3 goals, I get $3, right!?!" Too smart for his own good. So far, he has not scored a goal. He did, however, assist with a goal and and stopped a couple from going in the goal when he played goalie. Papaw did give him a dollar after that game for doing such a good job. As for the soccer, I am not sure it is his sport. But at this age, it's hard to tell. Some kids are really into it and others are more interested in dancing, picking clovers, etc. Ian seems not to be too interested right now, but maybe as he gets older he will get into it more.
This evening he was trying to prolong the bedtime ritual, as usual. He called me back into his room after about 5 minutes of being in bed and we had the following exchange:
Ian: Mom, my thumb smells like my butt.
Me: Well, don't put your thumb in your butt. (Yes, I said that with a straight face!)
Ian: Mom! I didn't!
Me: Well, then quit smelling your thumb! (Again, with a straight face!)
Me: Go to sleep. (I walked out and cracked up!)
That one goes in the book of "Things you never thought you would say!"
Ian: You know T?
Me: Who?
Ian, T, on my soccer team. She has pretty brown skin. She looks like the sushi guy.
Me: (Leaving the room snickering.) Ok.
So, he sees a difference. He obviously doesn't care. But clearly, I have taken him to too many sushi restaurants!
Papaw offered him a dollar the other day if he scored a goal. About one minute later (you could practically hear the gears turning!), he said: "So Papaw, if I score 3 goals, I get $3, right!?!" Too smart for his own good. So far, he has not scored a goal. He did, however, assist with a goal and and stopped a couple from going in the goal when he played goalie. Papaw did give him a dollar after that game for doing such a good job. As for the soccer, I am not sure it is his sport. But at this age, it's hard to tell. Some kids are really into it and others are more interested in dancing, picking clovers, etc. Ian seems not to be too interested right now, but maybe as he gets older he will get into it more.
This evening he was trying to prolong the bedtime ritual, as usual. He called me back into his room after about 5 minutes of being in bed and we had the following exchange:
Ian: Mom, my thumb smells like my butt.
Me: Well, don't put your thumb in your butt. (Yes, I said that with a straight face!)
Ian: Mom! I didn't!
Me: Well, then quit smelling your thumb! (Again, with a straight face!)
Me: Go to sleep. (I walked out and cracked up!)
That one goes in the book of "Things you never thought you would say!"
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Soccer Team Pictures and Lunch
This morning, Ian had his soccer team pictures taken. He did a great job. (That couldn't be because I threatened his life if he made a goofy face could it?!?!?) Of course, there was one little boy in the group picture that just had to make a face! But at least it wasn't my kid for a change!
After the pictures, we came home and Papaw came for a visit. I don't think he was in the door for 5 minutes before Ian asked if they could go to McD's for lunch. (Their normal routine is for Papaw to pick him up after school and they go to lunch at the McD's with the big play area.) Papaw said yes we could go, of course. As Ian was headed into the car, he said BK was not on his agenda for the day but McD's was! I asked him where he got such a big word and he said "Mommy you say it all the time!" Guess he told me!
After the pictures, we came home and Papaw came for a visit. I don't think he was in the door for 5 minutes before Ian asked if they could go to McD's for lunch. (Their normal routine is for Papaw to pick him up after school and they go to lunch at the McD's with the big play area.) Papaw said yes we could go, of course. As Ian was headed into the car, he said BK was not on his agenda for the day but McD's was! I asked him where he got such a big word and he said "Mommy you say it all the time!" Guess he told me!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
A Picture Speaks More Than Words
Ian and I had an appointment with my counselor this afternoon. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful Cristie is! My mom found her for me through a mutual friend. The friend had lost a parent, had the help of Hospice and Cristie was the bereavement coordinator. She raved about Cristie so Mom started talking to her. Then, Mom hooked me up with her. Cristie started her career doing art therapy with children. As I am sure you can tell from this blog, Ian and I have had some issues. Over the last several months, Cristie has talked to me while Ian was around. So, he had the chance to get comfortable with her. Based on the troubles around her last week, I asked Cristie to meet with him to see if she could help in any way. It was very interesting to say the least.
She started out by asking him to make faces to show his different feelings. Then she asked him to give her a color associated with those faces/feelings. Then she let him paint with watercolors to show the feelings/faces he assigned to the colors. So blue is sad, red is angry, green is excited, yellow is aggressive (his choice of faces from a page of emotions) and black is his perception of my feelings. Being told by your 4 year old that he reads your feelings as black was hard. As you can see he painted about half the page blue. He gave the red a pretty good portion of the paper too. (He painted some of the red over the blue.) The green/excitement is because of an upcoming visit to the beach, according to him. The yellow apparently is a reaction to the anger.
Then we worked on a feelings box. He got to decorate the box and can put in whatever he wants to show his feelings. The box will stay in his room and be his own 'treasure chest' for as long as he needs it. So far the only thing mentioned for the box has been a picture of Mark.
Now for the tough part: During this art time, he opened up a little bit about how he feels. He is 4 and can't put into words all these things. Further, he doesn't understand a lot of it, so that makes it even harder. He keeps talking about going to heaven to bring Daddy home. He talks about going to heaven to see Daddy, Whiskey and Grandma. He is apparently getting the point that once you are in heaven, you can't come back. Because he worries about going there and not being able to come back. He, obviously, worries that I will leave him, that I will go to heaven, and that I will not be able to come back.
The hardest for me to hear today was that he is mad at Daddy for lying to him. I asked how he felt Daddy lied to him. He said Daddy told him he would come home and fly this one particular airplane with him. We explained that Daddy had no control over not coming home and that he certainly would have come home if he could. And, just because Daddy told him that didn't mean he was telling a lie because he had no control. He told us he is mad at God. We told him that was okay and that Mommy is mad at God too.
How do I try to cope with all this? I continue to encourage him to talk to God, to tell God how he feels, etc. I sometimes feel like a broken record when I explain that Daddy/Whiskey/Grandma can't come home but that they would have liked nothing better than to have been here with us. You can't imagine how hard it is to keep going over it with him. He knows what upsets me, and because he is 4 and trying to find his boundaries, he uses it. I have to remember that all children use various techniques to get what they want, and that it's not a malicious thing on his part. It just happens to be harder because of the situation, but that's not what Ian is thinking.
Today's session was hard, but I think it helped. I think Ian was finally able to put into words some of what he is feeling. I am certainly in a better place, because I now understand some of his actions/feelings, etc. It is very difficult to step back from myself and see that he is not doing things to be mean, he is just trying to understand something I don't even understand. He has lost so much, some by the choice of others and some not. There are people that walk this earth, that won't experience his level of loss, until they are much older, if ever. It's not easy for me, and I can only imagine what he goes through. Which sounds funny, because I am living it too. But at least I can, at times, put words to the emotions.
She started out by asking him to make faces to show his different feelings. Then she asked him to give her a color associated with those faces/feelings. Then she let him paint with watercolors to show the feelings/faces he assigned to the colors. So blue is sad, red is angry, green is excited, yellow is aggressive (his choice of faces from a page of emotions) and black is his perception of my feelings. Being told by your 4 year old that he reads your feelings as black was hard. As you can see he painted about half the page blue. He gave the red a pretty good portion of the paper too. (He painted some of the red over the blue.) The green/excitement is because of an upcoming visit to the beach, according to him. The yellow apparently is a reaction to the anger.
Then we worked on a feelings box. He got to decorate the box and can put in whatever he wants to show his feelings. The box will stay in his room and be his own 'treasure chest' for as long as he needs it. So far the only thing mentioned for the box has been a picture of Mark.
Now for the tough part: During this art time, he opened up a little bit about how he feels. He is 4 and can't put into words all these things. Further, he doesn't understand a lot of it, so that makes it even harder. He keeps talking about going to heaven to bring Daddy home. He talks about going to heaven to see Daddy, Whiskey and Grandma. He is apparently getting the point that once you are in heaven, you can't come back. Because he worries about going there and not being able to come back. He, obviously, worries that I will leave him, that I will go to heaven, and that I will not be able to come back.
The hardest for me to hear today was that he is mad at Daddy for lying to him. I asked how he felt Daddy lied to him. He said Daddy told him he would come home and fly this one particular airplane with him. We explained that Daddy had no control over not coming home and that he certainly would have come home if he could. And, just because Daddy told him that didn't mean he was telling a lie because he had no control. He told us he is mad at God. We told him that was okay and that Mommy is mad at God too.
How do I try to cope with all this? I continue to encourage him to talk to God, to tell God how he feels, etc. I sometimes feel like a broken record when I explain that Daddy/Whiskey/Grandma can't come home but that they would have liked nothing better than to have been here with us. You can't imagine how hard it is to keep going over it with him. He knows what upsets me, and because he is 4 and trying to find his boundaries, he uses it. I have to remember that all children use various techniques to get what they want, and that it's not a malicious thing on his part. It just happens to be harder because of the situation, but that's not what Ian is thinking.
Today's session was hard, but I think it helped. I think Ian was finally able to put into words some of what he is feeling. I am certainly in a better place, because I now understand some of his actions/feelings, etc. It is very difficult to step back from myself and see that he is not doing things to be mean, he is just trying to understand something I don't even understand. He has lost so much, some by the choice of others and some not. There are people that walk this earth, that won't experience his level of loss, until they are much older, if ever. It's not easy for me, and I can only imagine what he goes through. Which sounds funny, because I am living it too. But at least I can, at times, put words to the emotions.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Ian-isms and Adventures
Because I am feeling really low right now, I have decided to write down some of Ian's latest sayings andadventures. Yes, this is an attempt to avoid dealing with how bad I am feeling. Deal with it!
1) "napalures"
Any guesses? Uncle Keith and Aunt Sherry got Ian a subscription to magazine and the magazine sent him a free gift. His gift was a set of bright yellow "binoculars".
2) "piss-quito"
I heard this while he ran away from a "mosquito"! I asked him to repeat it. He did and then asked me how to say it properly. I told him. He tried again and he just can't get it. Yet, he can clearly say aluminum, cinnamon, etc. Words most people, including me, had trouble pronouncing when they were younger. Go figure!
While at Mom's memorial on Saturday, I noticed him pulling his pants down in front of the entire crowd! Yep, that's right he was mooning someone at her memorial. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree. His Daddy would be so proud! His Mommy, not so much!
I signed him up for soccer on Saturday morning. He will start practice in August and his first game will be in September. He could not understand why he had to sign up and there was no one actually playing soccer at the sign up. Three days later we are still discussing this 'problem' as he sees it. It's going to be a long summer trying to put him off until August.
He is obsessed with when he will be old enough to watch the movie St@r W@rs! Every day for the last month, we have discussed this topic. I am so sick of it, I am about ready to let him watch it so I don't have to hear about it any more! He loves to step on the scale in the bathroom. He wants me to check his 'pounds'. I tell him what it says and he runs off saying he will be able to watch the movie soon! Then he runs into his room and wants me to check his 'pounds' against the height chart on his door. I explain that the height chart checks his 'inches' and he says "that means I am tall enough to watch the movie, right?" Do you see the pattern here? He is driving me crazy!
About a month ago, I told him that I loved him. He told me that he loved me more than apples. (His favorite food.) I then told him I loved him more than cheese. (One of my favorites) He replied that he loved me more than 6 apples! I guess I am not as good a 7 apples, but 6 is pretty good.
1) "napalures"
Any guesses? Uncle Keith and Aunt Sherry got Ian a subscription to magazine and the magazine sent him a free gift. His gift was a set of bright yellow "binoculars".
2) "piss-quito"
I heard this while he ran away from a "mosquito"! I asked him to repeat it. He did and then asked me how to say it properly. I told him. He tried again and he just can't get it. Yet, he can clearly say aluminum, cinnamon, etc. Words most people, including me, had trouble pronouncing when they were younger. Go figure!
While at Mom's memorial on Saturday, I noticed him pulling his pants down in front of the entire crowd! Yep, that's right he was mooning someone at her memorial. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree. His Daddy would be so proud! His Mommy, not so much!
I signed him up for soccer on Saturday morning. He will start practice in August and his first game will be in September. He could not understand why he had to sign up and there was no one actually playing soccer at the sign up. Three days later we are still discussing this 'problem' as he sees it. It's going to be a long summer trying to put him off until August.
He is obsessed with when he will be old enough to watch the movie St@r W@rs! Every day for the last month, we have discussed this topic. I am so sick of it, I am about ready to let him watch it so I don't have to hear about it any more! He loves to step on the scale in the bathroom. He wants me to check his 'pounds'. I tell him what it says and he runs off saying he will be able to watch the movie soon! Then he runs into his room and wants me to check his 'pounds' against the height chart on his door. I explain that the height chart checks his 'inches' and he says "that means I am tall enough to watch the movie, right?" Do you see the pattern here? He is driving me crazy!
About a month ago, I told him that I loved him. He told me that he loved me more than apples. (His favorite food.) I then told him I loved him more than cheese. (One of my favorites) He replied that he loved me more than 6 apples! I guess I am not as good a 7 apples, but 6 is pretty good.
Monday, October 19, 2009
When You Leave A 3 Year Old Alone For Five Minutes
This is how I found him yesterday morning. He told me he was going out to the kitchen to play his game on Nogg!n.com. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and headed for the kitchen. I swear he was in the kitchen for no more than 5 minutes without me!
Monday, October 05, 2009
World's Smallest Football Player?
Ian wearing Alex's football gear after the game.(FYI: They won 26-0!)
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tales of Chicky- Cago
The kid cracks me up!! This morning he told me that Uncle David, "no live in Chicky-Cago". Then, he called my mom and told her that he lives in "Washington D.C., no Chicky-Cago". I have no idea where he gets this stuff. He has heard us discuss going to Chicago, but we have no immediate plans to go there. I wonder what made it pop into his head his morning. And, where did he get Chicky-Cago?
He is on the phone right now with Grandma. He has the phone held up to his arm 'showing' her his temporary tattoo! I hope she got a great visual on that one. Can't wait to see what he can really do with a video phone.
As I have said before, Ian is not a great eater. He eats all kinds of foods, just not very much of anything at one time. You get 2-3 bites in and he is finished. It's maddening!!! Anyway, lately he has been telling us he is hungry. Huge revelation! How does he tell us, you ask? Well, you might think he just says that he is hungry. Or, maybe you think he takes me to the cabinet to show me what he wants. Oh, no we can't be that simple!! He says "My belly is turned on now" or "I need to food it". And of course, if you ask him if he is hungry, he tells you "My belly is not turned on." I would love to know where he gets this stuff!
He is on the phone right now with Grandma. He has the phone held up to his arm 'showing' her his temporary tattoo! I hope she got a great visual on that one. Can't wait to see what he can really do with a video phone.
As I have said before, Ian is not a great eater. He eats all kinds of foods, just not very much of anything at one time. You get 2-3 bites in and he is finished. It's maddening!!! Anyway, lately he has been telling us he is hungry. Huge revelation! How does he tell us, you ask? Well, you might think he just says that he is hungry. Or, maybe you think he takes me to the cabinet to show me what he wants. Oh, no we can't be that simple!! He says "My belly is turned on now" or "I need to food it". And of course, if you ask him if he is hungry, he tells you "My belly is not turned on." I would love to know where he gets this stuff!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Cry? Celebrate? I Can't Decide!!
My baby started pre-school today!!! And, I can't decide if I want to cry or celebrate! I have alternated between: BOO HOO, my baby started pre-school today! and WOO HOO, my baby started pre-school today! So, since this is such an important step showing how big he is, I have decided to go with the WOO HOO!!!! I am willing myself into that state of mind. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
Yes, I will post pictures later of him in his small backpack ready to head out the door. I am currently at work and don't have the camera or the time to download it. He looked so cute!! He was so excited! He got up telling me that he didn't want to go. But, by the time we got there and he saw all the other kids, he was happy to go. He hung up his backpack and coat, kissed me and Mark and took off! I snuck back in after a few minutes (to talk to the financial lady) and he wasn't the slightest bit concerned about where Mommy was. He was already talking to another little boy about playing outside.
Mark and Beth will pick him up at noon and take him to lunch today. I am betting that will be Sky*line! I can hardly wait to hear what he thinks about his new school. He will be going three days per week from 9-12 for the next two weeks. After that, I will drop him off on my way to work and will pick him up around 3 on the same 3 days each week. We wanted him to have some time with Daddy while he was home. And, we wanted to work him into a longer day since it is such a new thing for him. I am sure he is going to love it!
Yes, I will post pictures later of him in his small backpack ready to head out the door. I am currently at work and don't have the camera or the time to download it. He looked so cute!! He was so excited! He got up telling me that he didn't want to go. But, by the time we got there and he saw all the other kids, he was happy to go. He hung up his backpack and coat, kissed me and Mark and took off! I snuck back in after a few minutes (to talk to the financial lady) and he wasn't the slightest bit concerned about where Mommy was. He was already talking to another little boy about playing outside.
Mark and Beth will pick him up at noon and take him to lunch today. I am betting that will be Sky*line! I can hardly wait to hear what he thinks about his new school. He will be going three days per week from 9-12 for the next two weeks. After that, I will drop him off on my way to work and will pick him up around 3 on the same 3 days each week. We wanted him to have some time with Daddy while he was home. And, we wanted to work him into a longer day since it is such a new thing for him. I am sure he is going to love it!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Where Does He Get This Stuff?!?! UPDATED
I had a very frustrating day today. I left work on the verge of tears from frustration. And being on the verge of tears only made me more upset. But.....I picked Ian up from Sam and have laughed through the rest of my day. I think he can sense when I am having a bad day (and it's not his fault!), so he tries to make me happy. Let me give you today's example:
Ian and I were discussing God this afternoon. He asked me where God was. I told him God was all around and inside him. I thought that was the end of the discussion since he got down off my lap and didn't say anything else. About 20 minutes later, he pulled up his shirt, smacked his belly and said "Are you in there God?" I just about fell off my chair laughing!
Yesterday, he wanted to see his buddy, Jake. I told him Jake and Sarah were probably at the baby-sitters for the day so Aunt Katie could work. He got very serious and asked, "Is Jake getting a baby?" I told him no. Then he said "Why are they sitting on babies there?" I just about ran off the road laughing!! Kids at this age are so literal and sometimes it can be the funniest thing ever!
UPDATE:
This reminded me of a story. Many years ago, I went to Cullen's open house at his Montessori school. I think it was his kindergarten year. He was showing me a puzzle map of Europe and Asia. He was correctly naming the countries as he put them in the puzzle. When he got to Hungary, he told me the country name was 'Hungry' because the people there need to eat! To funny!
Ian and I were discussing God this afternoon. He asked me where God was. I told him God was all around and inside him. I thought that was the end of the discussion since he got down off my lap and didn't say anything else. About 20 minutes later, he pulled up his shirt, smacked his belly and said "Are you in there God?" I just about fell off my chair laughing!
Yesterday, he wanted to see his buddy, Jake. I told him Jake and Sarah were probably at the baby-sitters for the day so Aunt Katie could work. He got very serious and asked, "Is Jake getting a baby?" I told him no. Then he said "Why are they sitting on babies there?" I just about ran off the road laughing!! Kids at this age are so literal and sometimes it can be the funniest thing ever!
UPDATE:
This reminded me of a story. Many years ago, I went to Cullen's open house at his Montessori school. I think it was his kindergarten year. He was showing me a puzzle map of Europe and Asia. He was correctly naming the countries as he put them in the puzzle. When he got to Hungary, he told me the country name was 'Hungry' because the people there need to eat! To funny!