The Pied Piper of Potato Cakes, I Can't Believe That I Ate The Whole Thing, A Fishtail Slap and Asshats!

Oh my!!! Well, if that didn’t get your attention, nothing will. Let me explain…

What is the best medicine? Laughter, of course. If nothing else, a good dose of laughter was in order for Sam and I today. The last couple of days have been really hard. Days like these lead us to crazy laughter to deal with the stress and fatigue. Today was no exception to that rule. We took her parents to the Cincinnati airport this afternoon and on the way home (after a small stop) we cracked ourselves up and concocted the title to this post. Truthfully, Sam dared me to remember the title we came up with and actually post a blog about what happened. Well, I remembered and here is the story.

The day started with the Panda Cubs playgroup at the local mall. (Actually, the day started with FedEx ringing my doorbell at 7:25AM to get me to sign for a package from Mark’s employer. Don’t that have rules about how early they can deliver!!!) Mark, Ian and I stopped at Burger King on the way. Kieren loves the small potato cakes. Since she hardly ever eats, I am happy to get them for her. Upon arriving at the mall, I handed the bag of potato cakes to Sam. She immediately attracted an avid audience. Besides Kieren, she had Ian, Sarah, Maddy and Jake holding out their hands for a taste of the deep fried goodness. During our drive home from Cincinnati and after a few chocolate covered espresso beans, I called Sam the Pied Piper of Potato Cakes. The laughing begins….

After playgroup, we headed to pick up Nanny and Pop for the trip to airport. On the way, we stopped at a Sonic Drive In for some seriously tart limeades. I highly recommend the limeades at Sonic. They are amazing! (We had to go around an idiot on the off ramp who was too busy dialing his phone to be bothered with driving or realizing that the light changed 3 minutes ago. See asshats later in this post!) We dropped the ‘rents off at the airport which is really 20 minutes into Kentucky and not in Cincinnati at all. Then, we headed for home. About 5 miles up the highway, I spotted a Fresh Market. I love Fresh Markets!!! Bad idea today though. Sam and I were both hungry and slap happy from the last couple of days of planning/lack of sleep/craziness. We paid for our goodies and headed for the car to start sampling. This led us to part two of the title: I can’t believe that I ate the whole thing!! What did we eat, you ask?!?! Well, a better question would be: What didn’t we eat!?!? We had shrimp salad on herb infused rolls. We had a lovely soft cheese on those same rolls. We had some amazing chili lemon crackers. We had spicy tuna roll sushi. We had a few bites of edamame succotash. We had a couple bites of thai sesame noodles. We had chocolate peanut butter fudge. We chased it all with black tea. And, we ended the drive with dark chocolate covered espresso beans! (Needless to say, by the time we got home, my head was spinning and my heart was racing from so much caffeine and laughter.) More laughing…

Incredibly, this led us to part three of our title: A Fishtail Slap. While eating all that, we started laughing and complaining about our stomachs hurting. And, if you know anything about Sam and I, we had a huge contest to see who could produce the best burp. Let me just say, that burping after eating all that caused some seriously smelly burps. Remember, we ate sushi and therefore, when you burp, it’s like a slap of a fishtail! And, of course we had to stop at a bathroom to test the air fresheners!! (I think that BP will never be the same, Sam!!) More laughing…..

And finally, Asshats. This is a word that I have picked up from a couple of blogs I read. Every time I called someone that today, Sam said “There’s that word again, where did you pick that up.” And each time I replied “From reading the blogs of those crazy Canadians!” (We had this slap happy exchange about 8 times today at least!) Well, it seemed to really fit most of the drivers in the Cincinnati area today. We saw so many people come so close to causing major wrecks. The final straw was the lady slamming on her breaks to keep from hitting a huge dump truck. She was clearly not paying attention to anything she was doing and didn’t “SEE” the huge truck. It was truly amazing to watch these drivers today. They all seemed oblivious to the world around them. I just hope that didn’t cause any accidents after we passed them.

Over all, Sam and I had a good trip to Cincinnati today. We really needed the time together, the laughter and all the good food. I realize that the story is not nearly as funny as it was in person, but trust me we enjoyed ourselves.